To: Rainy_Day_Woman who wrote (8801 ) 6/1/2000 1:01:00 AM From: Druss Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 12754
The latest sermon from Reverend D. Jones of the Church of Christ and the Market Risen. Today Brothers and Sisters I feel I must speak about the tithes that some of you have in arrears, deeply in arrears I might add. First there is the matter of some very creative accounting going on in your figuring tithes. Now someone who nets $80,000 after taxes in their job and has made $52,000 in our churches stock fund does not owe $15.82 for the year. Tithes are 10%. And the individual who sent the church a bill for $16,000 in lieu of tithing had better quickly realize that this joke is not the best attempt at humor we have heard lately. This person made $114,000 at their job and took over $80,000 from the market in their church investment fund. Now if we don't get a check for his tithes and real quick the church is going to show him our sense of humor. He will get a quick boot to his free loading behind and more to the point with the market down so low we will close his church investment account at current prices for a hefty loss. Now we need our tithes to do or work here. To pay wages (such as my salary), to pay for the operation of our investment fund which Sister Sherry manages and I am proud to say is beating the S&P index and 99% of the mutual funds out there. We need those tithes Brothers and Sisters to do God's work. Now I have had some of my congregation come up and say to me, Reverend Jones, do we really need to pay tithes? Is is not enough that we worship God and have him in the fullness of our heart. Get thee behind me Satan!! To stand in the very face of a humble servant of the Lord and to spew the words of the Prince of Lies and Evil!! Lord stand with me here as I take my Bible in my hand and banish this demon of darkness from church! Hear Me Lord!! Yes, I feel the power of God now! Yes! I stand here before you in the presence of God! I feel Him! I hear His words and know his will. And the Lord is saying Pay your tithes . Amen!