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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: MrsNose who wrote (14830)	6/2/2000 1:30:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62554

Church Bulletins Announcements - We All Make Mistakes Sometimes... The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. - - - - - - - - - - - - - The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning. - - - - - - - - - - - - - The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. - - - - - - - - - - - - - Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. - - - - - - - - - - - - - The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession. - - - - - - - - - - - - - Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door. - - - - - - - - - - - - - Ushers will eat latecomers. - - - - - - - - - - - - - The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." - - - - - - - - - - - - - Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience." - - - - - - - - - - - - - The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. - - - - - - - - - - - - - The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience. - - - - - - - - - - - - - The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her. - - - - - - - - - - - - - 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why. - - - - - - - - - - - - - A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday. - - - - - - - - - - - - - On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: "GOD IS GOOD. Dr.Hargreaves is better." - - - - - - - - - - - - - Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary. - - - - - - - - - - - - - Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

To: MrsNose who wrote (14830)	6/2/2000 10:43:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62554

A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull dog on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know this is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it? The woman replied, "Well that first hearse is for my husband." "What happened to him?" "My dog attacked and killed him." "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The woman answered, "My mother in law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women. "Can I borrow the dog?"