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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (52285)	6/15/2000 1:10:00 PM
From: Crocodile	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 71178

Hi guys! This is Gaugie in adORable southern OR. Ms Croc has been so kind, i.e. stupid, as to lend me HER password. Hmm. Wow. That gives me an idea....oh, nevermind. Well my goodness, the whole way down I was SO impressed with the Day and the Scenery and the Moon and all, that all I could think was, wow, those guys at Rambi would Love this. It was beautiful! You get that sometimes. Hee hee. Man o man. The Interstate was suspiciously uncrowded. I mean suspiciously. Or mysteriously. Is there an epidemic, or something I don't know about? "Well, yesss, Paul. There's always something you don't know about." Dad's air conditioner sounds like a 747 with its head tucked in the window. Caught around the neck, like someone slammed a double-hung down on a cat trying to climb in. I want to go buy him one, a better one, but I'm not sure I can be trusted with this. I need your credit card number, too. Where does one buy an air conditioner? At the air conditioner store? "Don't get mixed up with the air freshener store." Maybe "Monkey Ward's." (That's what my dad calls them.) (Did they go under?) Gosh I drove good. You would have been proud of me, Lather. I was thinking I bet he drives his Deutschler good; and he would appreciate this that I'm doing, here. With my Tercel. Whoosh and whizz. It takes a little while, or it does for me, to learn how to drive a particular car in a particular situation. Especially up hill and down, 6-7%, with three and a half toilet-paper-roll cylinders. It's like performing brain surgery with a dog. I'm pretty sure I had other people on the road confused. Yah. "That guy.....that guy.....goes up the hill faster than us, and down slower. Whatssup with that?" Boy.....that road is a humdinger, too. What's the name of that track - Rancho Seco? I forget. You gotta be paying attention, as there are a lot of confused people out there. And the highway hazard sign guys are taking payoffs. I'm going to have to call ODOT and explain some things to them. "You know the road?" I'll start with that. "Repugnant. Your signage is repugnant." Like - get this: You know how you get a freeway disembark-to-Rest-Area exit? And the signs say, before then, Rest Area 2 miles? And then Rest Area next right? Well it's dark as hell out here. It's the middle of nowhere. Literally. And the off ramp lines are awash in the need for repainting and dirty and against a background of all kinds of trees and bushes and all sorts of shit, and I start turning off, and when my headlights finally line up with the exit ramp, there's a goddam BARRICADE in the EXIT!!! REST AREA CLOSED! WHERE WAS THE FUCKING SIGN YOU GODDAM IDIOTS!! CAN I SLAM ON THE BRAKES AND SKID ROUND THE BARRICADE OR SHOULD I TRY A BLIND RE-MERGE WITH NO RPM AT 50 MPH WITH THE 70'S ~ BETTER HIT THE BRAKES! OH THAT'S A GOOD WAY TO MERGE JEEZ CAN I YANK THE WHEEL LEFT AND CLEAR THOSE OAK TREES OR WILL I JUST FLIP IT AND END IT ALL??? WELL THINK FAST, BOSCO DE GAMA!! ~ capn crunch