To: Crocodile who wrote (52583 ) 6/24/2000 12:00:00 PM From: Rambi Respond to of 71178
Mr Croc sounds like a very secure person. it isn't that being the spouse of someone is at all unpleasant, especially when you really love that person and are proud of who they are. I think after years of it, you begin to function best in those roles. This is hard to admit- it almost borders on confessional in nature. But when we took trips abroad, I would be very competent when left on my own with the kids. Dan would go off to meetings and I would find museums or take the underground, laugh my way through French menus, and ask directions without qualms. The first time I accompanied him to Paris sans kids, I hated it, I was distinctly uncomfortable and apologetic about everything. I missed being the mom taking care of her brood and never felt quite sure that I had any right to be there at all. It was almost a feeling of not existing, but at the same time being incredibly visibly offensive to everyone. Maybe it's sort of an -- excuse-- Like- "She's fat, but no wonder, she has a new baby in her arms..." I'm making this sound more serious than it is..it's just a big small thing and bigger at the moment because I'm thinking about it. I was lucky enough to be aware of it, and take measures to ward off the loss of me-ness by continuing my voice studies and giving recitals, and one thing Dan always did was make the boys come hear me sing so that they would see me being more than Mom. That gave some balance. Maybe now, it seems important because the immediate active MOM role is pretty much completed. So the me-role has to start carrying more of the weight around here. Weight-- forget that- poor choice of words. (8 pounds down...!)