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Microcap & Penny Stocks : Amazon Natural (AZNT) -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: tonto who wrote (25010)	6/24/2000 4:39:00 PM
From: EL KABONG!!!	Respond to of 26163

tonto, I hadn't finished the story yet. There's more... Yesterday I started training for my new position in life. The Witness Protection Program offered me two choices. The first choice I passed on because I am too squeamish. I would have had to show autopsy films to the participants at the US Cheerleading Championship Competitions. Sort of gets 'em in the mood to compete, you know. The only other choice they gave me was to become a MM (market manipulator) on the Pink Sheets trading floor, which I readily accepted (better than showing autopsy films and selling popcorn if you ask me). Training began yesterday. They started out with camouflage techniques, which requires me to run and hide in the crowd whenever a potential buyer/seller calls with a telephone order that may be detrimental to whatever price we determine is fair for today. I am only allowed to fill buy orders at above the Ask, and execute sell orders at below the Bid. We ignore something called a limit order, concentrating instead upon something called "at market". I'm told that they're more profitable. I'm glad that we place the small investor's interests ahead of our own. (Call me sentimental, but...) My bosses are Little Solly and Big Tony. (Solly bears an amazing resemblance to the jay-walker... Incredible...) They are smart big time. They've taught me how to circumvent the rules and regulations so that we don't break any of them. (Solly says rules are made to be broken anyway and then laughs about it. An insider joke I guess...) Anyway, after about 3 hours of practice yesterday, they put me on the floor. I was almost in trouble right off the bat. Seems as though Bob Pisani and CNBC were broadcasting from the floor, and they wanted me for an interview. I can't afford to let my face be seen on national TV while I'm in the Witness Protection Program, so I looked around and saw a nearby can of paint and grabbed it, telling Pisani that I couldn't talk right now, had to go paint the bathrooms. Fortunately he bought it and I was safe. Well, I gotta run for now. I'll catch you later, dude. Right now I got this awesome female intern I gotta train. Damn, I don't know where Solly finds these women, but they learn fast if you catch my drift... KJC