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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Neocon who wrote (83803)	7/13/2000 4:26:57 PM
From: epicure	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

The parent may or may not have a truth- only time tells if the parent was "correct" in any sense, even a "functional" one. The teacher is not a good example since there are external proofs- existing in this limited plane we call reality- which deal with multiplication- although it is all (perhaps) uncertain (and thus who knows if it is true)if the uncertainty theories are correct. Urbanites may or may not be correct in their subjective assessment of their environs, same is true for the rural dweller- I don't know how on earth one would ascertain that anyone held any "truth" there except for a very personal opinion. Unless one is talking about factual data- i.e. such and such a deli is on such and such a street- and that is easily verifiable in our limited sphere of reality. So I have no idea how you can illustrate your- "I know it is true in my head but can't prove it and can't explain it"- that sounds like the definition of an opinion to me, and not a truth.

To: Neocon who wrote (83803)	7/13/2000 5:22:15 PM
From: one_less	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 108807

When Emily, (my middle daughter) was 3 we were having a summer Olympics for the children of the campus village where I lived. I participated in running games and sponsoring teams. I was an avid clapper and hugger at the end line of many events. It lasted for two days. At the end of it there was a medals and ribbons ceremony. I had acquired a fever and was tired. At the ceremony we had a fifteen minute down poor of rain to end the festivities. Finally the event was done. I felt like a tremendously good sport as we were walking home. Then the older daughter started pushing to spend some time at the playground that we would have to pass on our way. I began mumbling some noncommittal rebuttals but couldn't bring myself to just say no. Then it happened. We were walking past a parking lot that due to the rain had a nice puddle of oil and grease forming in its outer most corner against the curb. Emily, wearing some brand new disney tennis shoes, took a step toward it. I screamed, "No! its yucky." In went the tennis shoe, and out came a blackened toe. Good grief I couldn't believe this but my reprieve had arrived. I announced the end of play time, "we are going straight home to take naps." I felt fully justified and satisfied with the outcome. Emily did not respond appropriately. She should be weeping and begging for another chance at the playground. She wasn't. She was stomping mad. Stomp, stomp, stomp, turn on heals, glare at me...stomp, stomp, stomp, turn, glare, mutter...etc all the way home. I didn't get it, what was happening here? I was clearly the right Daddy in my decision as Emily had been the naughty kid. Finally just before the door of our home, she did one more spin. Sticking her little tummy out and pointing at my nose she proclaimed angrily, "It wasn't yucky Daddy, it had rainbows." She turned back around, went straight to her bed and slept. Ok, there was some detergent crap floating around on the black boggy muck. But I was still correct as the adult decision maker to tell her "No" and to punish her for non compliance afterward. I knew what the truth was. However, there seemed no way to establish an understanding that Emily would see my way. Hmmmm...I thought, so this is what they mean when they say, "Parenting is a difference in perspectives." I've probably told you this before, its one of my favorite parenting stories. Hope you don't mind. brees