To: TH who wrote (1736 ) 7/13/2000 10:00:46 PM From: KFE Respond to of 44012 A little golf humor. A. One beautiful Saturday morning, as their usual foursome rounded onto the 16th green, a funeral procession quietly passed by. Joe, an avid hacker, was putting when he suddenly stopped. He stood somewhat "at attention", took off his hat, and held it on his heart. The other three golfers were awed by Joe's display of thoughtfulness. When the funeral procession completely passed, they said, "Wow Joe, we didn't know you were such a compassionate person". To which he replied: "You know guys, after 34 years of marriage, that's the least I could do". B. A couple met during their vacation stays at Seabrook Island, South Carolina and were immediately attracted to each other. The week went by rapidly and it was clear that they had either fallen in love or were well on the way to doing so. On the last day, they were discussing how they would continue the relationship when they returned home. "Its only fair to warn you Jody," he said. "I'm a golf nut. I live, eat, sleep and breathe golf." "Well, since you're being honest, so will I" Jody said. "I'm a hooker." "I see ," he said. Then brightening, he smiled. "It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball." C.Top 10 things that sound dirty in golf but aren't: 10. Nuts! ...my shaft is bent 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker 7. Look at the size of that putter 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more 5. Mind if I join your threesome? 4. Stand with your back turned and drop it 3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip 2. Nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired And the number one thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't: 1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first! Very generous offers Magnatizer and Thurston. Regards, Ken