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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ilaine who wrote (53617)	7/21/2000 1:13:21 PM
From: Gauguin	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 71178

"Go, you girl." I like it. Funny. BTW, remind me to tell, maybe come Fall, about the nurse I met over at the hospital, while I was taking a test. (Driver's license.) She recognized me; I didn't recognize her. She was very nice to me, and explained where she knew me from. (I disbelieve people, I don't know why, and then they tell me my name, and I look to see if I have a badge on.) She was my ICU nurse from five years ago. I've told the story here about how my lungs were failing, and I was reduced to keeping my lungs and heart alive ~ keeping the ball in the air ~ to keep from dying. No sleep, no rest, no stops, for a couple weeks. (You can stay awake panting, scared, a long time.) This woman knew it. Knew I was dying. (The only person beside me.) That's what she wanted to tell me. She was happy to see I was all right? And then told me that she had to try to convince the doctor I was sicker than he realized. I knew this had happened. Even tho I was there, dying in ICU ~ his attitude took a real shift the Sunday morning he came in, at 7:00, to check on me. She told him I was going to die, if he didn't get me into an ICU with pulmonary specialists. I had been awake all night ~ this was when I knew the clothes I was going to die in ~ and when he came in to talk to me, I could see in his face, someone had lit a fire under him. Gotten thru. Told him this was the point of no return. I knew all this. I just knew. Because shit started to happen right. I got transferred in an ambulance to an ICU directly under four pulmonologists. And I could not advocate ~ I had to DEMONSTRATE to even get admitted. (This is when they found my blood ox at 58% ~ cadaver levels.) So the pieces fell into place, about my rescue, and five years later, I got to meet the angel/woman who saved my life. So I told her so. "You saved my life." I know that is a funny thing to say to a person. And she was surprised I knew that. That I had it in my mind, that something had happened; and that someone had helped me. She was surprised I knew; and then knew I knew. She smiled about the nicest smile I have ever seen, and said, ever so gently, "I was worried about you." I almost cried. She looked at me; we looked at each other for a while; knowing that we were two strangers who had the most intimate connection node of my life. I was thanking her. She knew that without her, I would not be sitting on this gurney, having this test, living my life. It was wonderful. My mind raced around the wonder of it; the positioning of this two people in the Universe of Life, and still I was calm and happy; and humbled; and impressed; and didn't want the moment to break. I reveled in the gentleness of what she had done. For me. I wanted to memorize it. And I was SO HAPPY that I got the CHANCE to meet this person. That fate and time had rolled me into this room, and that she recognized me. She turned finally, and adjusted the machine, and left me there. Marbleized. "Hey ~ Wanna have SEX?" I yelled into the hall.