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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: George S. Montgomery who wrote (53673)7/22/2000 5:38:12 PM
From: epicure  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 71178
 
GSM
As a person well aware of the science of conflict and the escalation of conflict I wonder why you show us this series. Surely even you must be aware that you provoked these women and then escalated the conflict- what you did was warfare, which I suppose is a type of communication but not one which generally leads to snuggles. I do it all the time myself with people- but I do it on purpose. I like to see "What Lies Beneath". But it's no way to win friends and influence people. If you want a honey you must put out some honey. You really can't even catch flies with vinegar.

I don't know if you are really trying to reach out. I would have assumed you just enjoyed bugging people, if you didn't appear so confused by the reactions to your messages I would still assume that.

If you are trying to reach out you must flatter, be interesting and be nice. It's the only way to make friends. If necessary create a persona and PRETEND to be like people who are successful with other people- eventually it will feel more natural to you. People don't want to be poked with a sharp stick. Well a very few people do- but they are masochists, and they are a fairly pathetic lot with real self esteem issues (just my opinion- I've only known a few people who seemed truly masochistic- I base this opinion on that limited sample).

Of course if you don't want to reach out keep doing what you have been doing. That will be sure to keep you a hermit. I do not say this because I have any antipathy towards you, but as a long time people watcher- I feel I can safely say you do not communicate effectively (if you really want to be liked) and the fault is within you. I know you THINK you communicate effectively, but you don't if you never get the result you want.



To: George S. Montgomery who wrote (53673)7/22/2000 7:40:22 PM
From: Ish  Respond to of 71178
 
Geez George, I thought people in New York were supposed to be with it. Want ad, desperate seeking desperate. You're lucky to not have your throat cut.



To: George S. Montgomery who wrote (53673)7/22/2000 7:47:51 PM
From: Ilaine  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 71178
 
George, I could provide you with a helpful list of things NOT to say, if that would do any good. However, you are such a master at the art of getting under people's skin, that I doubt I could think of enough things to tell you not to do. It reminds me of the story about the boy who lit his grandfather's mule's farts, with predictable results. His grandfather said, he's a good boy, but I just can't think of enough things to tell him not to do. That's you.

I liked your first message to stjoan. I agree, her response really wasn't adequate. No point in mentioning it to her, the leopard doesn't change its spots.

Your response was somewhat uninspiring. All the demands and claims you make in your ad, and a lah-de-dah post? Maybe you weren't fully awake - and the idea of my brilliant post got you so flumdingered, you lost some poise?

This is exactly the type of thing that rubs people the wrong way. You may think of yourself as Spencer Tracy or Humphrey Bogart, but it comes across as just plain mean.

As for hallie2020, she is a fruitcake from the get-go. Your original post to her was amusing, but ill-advised. Don't cast your pearls before swine.