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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: George S. Montgomery who wrote (53711)	7/23/2000 12:26:30 AM
From: epicure	Respond to of 71178

GSM- real sympathy requires a real sharing of feelings. It would require someone here to enter into and understand your feelings, and feel them somewhat like you do. Pity can be given without understanding, but sympathy can't (imo). I can't help but feel sympathy for the women you wrote to- I comprehend their feelings better than I do yours. I am sorry. There may be other people here more capable than I of sympathizing with you- or at least some people who can fake it really well. I can sympathize with the pain of rejection. I am truly sympathetic if you feel that pain- but it won't get better unless you change. I remember it from my childhood, and no one will take it away from you. There are no people wandering the world to take that pain away from you without a price of some sort. The only way to lose the pain is to change, or sell your soul to someone else. I guess my way of sympathizing is to try to tell you how I would seek relief.

To: George S. Montgomery who wrote (53711)	7/23/2000 8:00:22 AM
From: Crocodile	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

I submitted my "Lost Seeking Lost" post looking for sympathy. Well goodness, Man!! Why didn't you SAY so!! Most DAR posts about horrible things that have happened to us are intended to make each other LAFF.... I don't think sympathy is ever the motive... although some commiseration may spontaneously occur if someone else has had a similar experience... However, I don't think I have even a singular experience to compare with yours so commiseration may not be possible... but actually, on second thought, perhaps I do have something with some slight parallel. .. Occasionally I receive letters from "foreign gentlemen" who have visited my canoe website and who, for one reason or another, write to ask about my marital status and what I look like... perhaps hoping that my website-husband has recently died or wandered off to points elsewhere in cyberspace. These letters generally go something like: Hi!! I see you website about canoe. I live in city, but I like to go to wild places too! I live in [choose one - Japan, Lebanon, Turkey, Spain, Philippines] and work with computers. How old are you? Are you pretty? My friends tell me I am good-looking. I like to get to know you better. I'm never quite sure what, if anything, to say... Buzz off, Kid! usually comes to mind immediately. I used to feel more of a....vague responsibility.... to make some kind of reply. However, after about 50 or so of these letters over the past few years, most of them just hit the trash can icon after a quick perusal... So...back to the topic of sympathy... It seems like S.I. is a bad place to go looking for any. Probably just end up getting your eyes pecked out by a creature that tastes like chicken... or have impristine write a poem about you.... hmmm..... but that's jmdo...and what do I know...

To: George S. Montgomery who wrote (53711)	7/23/2000 2:02:37 PM
From: Ilaine	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

George, George, you're so inconsistent. You said (and I am paraphrasing) that your emails to stjoan and hallie2020 were not sincere, you just were killing time until you felt sleepy, per your doctor's orders. You also said, and seemed surprised and chagrinned, that they responded by "threatening your very being," although that's hyperbole. What they said was, "leave me alone or I'll call the cops," something we all have the right to say. You were warned that they felt threatened. I don't feel sympathy for you, really, if I had any sympathy it would be for the women who felt threatened enough to tell you that they were going to call the cops if you didn't leave them alone. If it were I who provoked that reaction, not once but twice, I'd feel ashamed of myself. You present a false dichotomy. You pretend that there are two choices - being who you Yam, and offending others, or snivelling, scraping, bowing and cozying. Well, of course you should be who you are, but there's no reason not to be civil and polite. I wouldn't go as far as to present a false face, but your most socially acceptable face is also a true face, isn't it? But I think you are toying with us. You mentioned that you went to Harvard Law school, so I assume you were a lawyer. You know very well what you're doing, which is trying to get attention by complaining, hoping we will all rush to you in sympathy, yet you also know very well that we won't. We will, however, give you the attention you crave, and that's enough for your purposes. I must admit I'd rather give you attention because you were interesting, witty, and charming, not because you are pathetic.