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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: one_less who wrote (84365)	7/28/2000 3:34:13 PM
From: Frederick Smart	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Stop Defining and Conditionalizing.... >>Sorry I don't think we are communicating here. I think we have a problem with terminology. So I will try again. 1) There is a great deal you can do for and with persons who are struggling to find there way in life. You can encourage them to see the benefits in following a good path. You can pester them about their hard headedness and stubborn insistance that they can "beat the system," you can throw resources at them, etc etc etc. All well and good.>> Nope. All you can do is make them a partner in a mission to help others. The least person in the service model of the net is the person who takes the most risk. He/she reaches out to someone with a skill/insight or resource and empowers them to join in reaching out to help a third party. And by help/serve I am not saying this person isn't going to be paid for his work/time. In this model I am taking the risk to bring the provider of service and the person in need together in a way which clears the trust and risk through me. "I" become the trust/value exchange. If I am expecting anything out of this model I default off this platform. For if I expect something I'm conditionalizing my actions which places me in the one of the other two legs - one side which is providing the service and other side which is paying or exchange something for it. "Beating the system" amounts to simple acts of risk actions and kindness which bring people together while creating trust, energy and goodwill. For "the system" doesn't want trust, energy and goodwill to be created. If everyone believed in the value of risking, helping and serving others there would not be a need for 90% of what passes for "the system." For the demand energy-taking black holes of politics, power, bureaucracy and all the individuals and groups that don't want to risk which populate those paradigms rises as personal trust and empowerment decreases. >>2) Forgiveness means something else. It means that whatever the problem was, it is no longer an issue and we are both willing to start over with a clean slate.>> Yup. Period. Done. >>When perpetrators of evil deeds have no remorse, forgiveness is foolhardy because there is no context for it.>> Nope. For if you don't forgive even the worst source of evil you are embracing/declaring that you have the power to arbitrate and conditionalize morality. Evil actually looks forward and wants you to conditionalize/fracture and filture your energy/trust over evil that's perpetrated. For this means that evil has the power through the distrust engendered through the fear it creates/supports. "Forgiveness" means reaching out on a moment by moment basis with no judgement, but with the energy that's an expression of love. We each have the power to validate the unlimited, unconditional value of others through acts of kindness and forgiveness. It's up to others whether they accept/honor or reject/dishonor the forgiveness and love you freely can share/express unconditionally. As soon as we put conditions on what we freely risk and share we revert back to facing the darkness which comes from exercising our personal power and freedom to judge others. For this power is the core basis of all evil. >>3) I agree that before a better life can begin to take place there needs to be a renewal which includes forgiveness for the bad things of the past. However, just because you can imagine a better existance doesn't mean that others have a commitment to it. No remorse and commitment to change...no forgiveness. Its one of those things that just because you say it doesn't make it so.>> Forget about what "others" are thinking/doing. Face the light and claim your own ability to risk/forgive/help/serve/love. The energy you will feel when you turn 180 degrees and embrace this personal power and the responsibility that comes along with it is amazing. If you insist on waiting, comparing, judging and reflecting on what "others" say or do as a basis for taking your own risks to help/serve/love you will never really claim your own power and you will never really feel what it feels like to be happy and you will never really feel the energy from what's it's like to risk loving others. Remorse mixed with the ongoing waffling "commitment to change" is the story of our daily lives. The only "way out" of this selfish "woe is me" attitude is to risk reaching out, risk asking for help, risk getting to know others at a personal level from a perspective which takes an interest in helping/serving and sharing with them. I believe we all possess this understanding and all these powers. I believe we all are unlimited beings with the power to "change the world." I have reached out to help former drug addicts, gang members and even individuals who I later discovered were white collar criminals. I did this because I wanted to help and serve and I tried to place them in a position which identified and leveraged any skills they may have had, etc. I believe each of our stories are very personal and very special and timeless. I take a personal interest in people because I think they all have so much potential to do so much good. But I realize the odds may be radically stacked against people like me who think this way, but I've learned to not withdraw or conditionalize my trust or personal energy. If there is any "withdrawing" it usually comes from the opposite side that, respectfully, moves on other individuals who are less trusting, etc. For the more you withdraw and conditionalize your trust the more energy you "give up" to others and the outside world. And this happens without us even knowing it's happening. Just ask the fearful single mom in house in a gang infested neighborhood. Whether she shuts her window or points the finger she's hooked and is giving up her energy. Instead, if she's the expression of love she'd fearlessly getting to know those kids - not judging them - while trying to set a positive example for "the way out." For the "way out" is NOT jail. It's only through personal and collective risks, acts of forgivness and expressions of love. Peace. GO!!