To: MythMan who wrote (7066 ) 7/29/2000 2:43:53 PM From: NucTrader Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 436258 OT re: Life in Texas. You've probably seen this already, but it is pretty funny (not to mention accurate): >>Subject: life in Texas > > life in Texas > > May 30th > > Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that > knows how to live!! > Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and > deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset >from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my >home. I love it here. > > June 14th > > Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an > air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a >pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a > real sun worshipper. > > June 30th > > Had the backyard landscaped with western plants > today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No >more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here. > > July 10th > > The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people >get used to this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used >to it is taking longer than I expected. > > > July 15th > > Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my >body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned >my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this. > > July 20th > > I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left >this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby >had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all > over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran >away. The car now smells like Kibbles and shit. No more pets in >this heat! > > > July 25th > > Dry heat, my ass. Hot is hot!! The home air conditioner is >on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and >tell me he needed to order parts. > > > July 30th > > Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. >$1,500 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why > did I ever come here? > > > Aug 4th > > 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It >cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid >repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this state. > > > Aug 8th > > If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", >I'm going to tear his throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to >work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I > smell like roasted Garfield!! > > > Aug 10th > > The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot >and sunny. It's been too hot to live for two months and the >weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it >ever rain in this barren damn desert? Water rationing has been in >effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew >into the pool. Even acactus can't live in this heat. > > > Aug 14th > > Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to >crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The >installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My >wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail. > > > Aug 30th > > Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house. >The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it > muggier than hell. The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in >Mexico with its new $500 windshield. That does it, we're moving >back to Massachusetts for some peace and quiet. > > >