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To: Dealer who wrote (29083)	8/16/2000 9:56:26 AM
From: Dutch	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 35685

Found this on the laughter thread, thought everyone might like it. HOW HOT IS IT IN HELL --- A TRUE STORY A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had only one question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose, and 2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So, which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, 'That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic." The student got the only A. GZ

To: Dealer who wrote (29083)	8/16/2000 10:30:13 AM
From: T L Comiskey	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 35685

A man of few words......... I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. > >I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt >her. > >Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. > >The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said," >Dust!" > >In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man >and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has >rested. > >Why do men die before their wives? They want to. > >What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks. > >A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and >said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and >said,"God,I wish I had your will power." > >Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law. > >Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man >doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every >country, son. > >A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted". Next day he >received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have >mine." > >The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget >it once. > >First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, >mine's still alive." > >How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done >for free. > >Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking >they had no faults at all. > >If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every >word you say, talk in your sleep. > >Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was >until I got married; and then it was too late." > >A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get >married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!" > >