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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jbe who wrote (85640)	8/17/2000 2:23:19 PM
From: Frederick Smart	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

Jbe..... >>Fred, I found some of the light you shed rather murky. For example, your response to the question about the contradiction X saw in your saying, first, that the children should "lead," and then, that the parent should lead "by example": >>>>Leading" by example is a process which requires that we get out of the way and let the child assume his/her freedom to risk/learn/decide. I just believe the only "right" approach to take is to let the child embrace the risk while taking the responsibility for owning the outcome...>>>> >>What "example" are you setting when you "get out of the way and let the child assume his/her freedom to risk/learn/decide"? Do you mean that t he only example you choose to set is the example you provide of never interfering in any way with what your children choose to do?>> More often that not, you bet. Loving requires that we "let go" and trust. Does God try to own our outcomes? His power is a function of the trust, care, and faith He has that we can learn these things ourselves. But He is there to support us - yet WE must lead by risking and letting go. And ironically, this risking and letting go becomes an expression of our love for ourselves and others. So without needed to resort to NO we actually can end up "leading by following." >>One other point. I can't help believing that if you had a baby in the crawling stage who reached out to put his finger in a light socket (Cosmo's example), you would reflexively yank his hand away. A baby does not have the knowledge necessary to "embrace" such a risk and to "own the outcome.">> I'd pull the bady away from the lightbulb like anyone else. There are many GO instincts inside of us which we aren't even aware of. If we'd acknowlege just some of these natural GO wonders I think we'd all be very surprised. >>BTW, I attended one of those schools Rambi was talking about. The name of the school speaks for itself: Manumit. Manumit had its plusses -- and its minuses. jbe>> Don't know about this. Excuse me, but I have to "GO"....Flying to St. Louis pretty soon. Peace. .