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Pastimes : ISOMAN AND HIS CAVE OF SOLITUDE -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: rlhorton who wrote (437)	8/29/2000 11:22:40 PM
From: Apakhabar	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 539

Okay, I apologize, but I will introduce a sober note into the funniness because I happen to know the reason why not some but EVERY Swedish chainsaw includes the admonishment "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." In the small town of Monkfors, which is north of Stockholm by a few hundred miles (and where my mother's cousin lives) some poor bastard that everyone knows as "Lars" was cutting down trees with an Olss-Anders CS125. According to the newspaper in Monkfors Lars wanted to have himself a drink of water but he didn't want to re-start the CS125 because it was old and difficult, so while sitting down, he tried to hold the thing steady between his knees, and it slipped and started to slice his privates. Less surprisingly, he tried to stop the chainsaw by grabbing it, which cost him four fingers. Even less surprisingly, he sued the manufacturers; he lost the case, but he became a folk hero, and since then he has made piles of Krona advertising everything from autos (he promotes the Saab's safety) to Zloty (he shills for a mutual fund that hedges with currency speculation). According to my mother's cousin, he lost his you-know-what, and his wife divorced him, but after he started with the advertising, he quickly got remarried and he and his wife have adopted a Korean girl and they're all rich, at least. Anyway, the accepted theory on why the Swedish chainsaw manufacturers all include this warning label is that it makes their customers recall Lars, they laugh, they feel good, and presumably they buy a chainsaw. Just to set the record straight.