To: Elizabeth Andrews who wrote (1260 ) 8/25/2000 11:50:03 PM From: russet Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 4409 Hi Lizzie, You should post here,...we all have a lot more fun than investing in these mining things (gggggggggggggg).http://www.siliconinvestor.com/msgs.gsp?msgid=14266419 Thoughts on marriage...... A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single?" I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed? I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me! My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food ... She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" "How about the kitchen?" We always hold hands ... If I let go, she shops. My wife will buy anything marked down ... Last year she bought an escalator. All my wife does is shop, once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I Bought her an electric chair. My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week. My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, "I" stayed in the bathroom and cried. My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!" My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. I asked where IT was, and she said,"in the lake." My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. She called it the Dead Sea. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree! She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, lady, jump right in!" I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood. Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive a car. Last week she learned how to aim it. I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "I took a left at the kitchen." My bachelor friend recently explained why he won't get married. "Wedding rings look too much like minature handcuffs."