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Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jim McMannis who wrote (123115)	8/27/2000 8:54:00 PM
From: THE WATSONYOUTH	Respond to of 1570591

OTOTOT Flush your worthless options down the john. Pack up and get out, you dot.com losers!!! ************************************** John Kelso Austin American-Statesman Sunday, August 27, 2000 I've come to the conclusion that I am a sick and twisted man. I say this because when a dot-com goes under, it makes me feel kinda chirpy. A person shouldn't want to dance a jig on top of the bar when a bunch of people have been put out of work. But when a dot-com goes under, I remind myself that every cloud has a silver lining, that the traffic in Austin might be just a little thinner today, that maybe a few Californians are loading U-Hauls and leaving, that Austin rents might come down to $8 kazillion dollars a square foot and that it might be a little easier to get past the yuppies for the free cheese samples at Central Market. Whenever a dot-com goes bust, it makes my heart sing. I think I need counseling. It's not that I'm jealous of the six-figure incomes the young techies are making to start up these companies that get millions of dollars from venture capitalists so they can go belly up a few months later. OK, so that's part of it. You little laptop lunkheads haven't lived long enough to deserve all the bread you're making. You haven't even had to get your prostate checked yet, and here you are making money by the cubic yard. Go suck an egg. So I'm guilty of sour grapes. So bust me. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the back end of a pickup truck full of techies from a recently folded dot-com, on their way to work construction on one of these ridiculously overpriced downtown lofts that are being built just for them. I want to see these overpaid, underage, self-absorbed, millionaire punks lose their monochromatic shirts. So you can imagine how I glowed inside the other day when I read that living.com had folded. What I don't understand is why living.com lasted 13 months. Living.com tried to sell furniture online. These people really expected to sell recliners on a computer screen? Guys want to test a recliner at the store before they buy it. Guys want to try the armrests and see if they're the right height for lunging after a col' beer before they invest in a recliner. A man who would buy furniture online is the same kind of dolt who would buy a mail-order bride. "Geez. They didn't say anything about your crabby disposition and nose-hair problem in the ad." So three cheers for living.com going in the tank. Hip, hip, hooray. It couldn't have happened to a stupider marketing concept. Then there's drkoop.com, which was on the operating table before being rescued by a $20 million infusion. Drkoop.com gives medical tips online. This comes in handy for anyone who wants to remove his own appendix. They ought to change the name to drpoop.com. You know one thing that makes me smile? It's the thought of you Netscape knuckleheads losing your girlfriends to a bunch of large, oversexed, hairy, smelly truck drivers because your credit-card limit just got set back several thousand dollars. Maybe you'll get the blues. Imagine a techie blues song with a title like, "My Baby Done Downloaded Me When My Dot-Com Went Toes Up." If a number of other dot-coms shuffle off, expect to hear me humming a few bars.