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To: Shawn M. Downey who wrote (15850)8/30/2000 1:13:17 PM
From: Guardian  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62549
 
BILL OF NO RIGHTS

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt
to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of
justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote
positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free
liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try

one more time to
ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the
terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other
liberal bedwetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident:
that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of
Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big
screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if
you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing
anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended.
This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for
everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the
channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is
full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm.
If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more
careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and
all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and
housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be
found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are
quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after
generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
nothing more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care,
regardless of what Hillary thinks. That would be nice, but
from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested
in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm
other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or
kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to
see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of
others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or
services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest
of us get together and lock you away in a place where you
still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a
life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our
children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your
aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't
lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like.
However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do
not want to spend so much of our time battling each and
every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us
sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you
along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of
the opportunities of education and vocational training laid
before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an
American means that you have the right to pursue happiness -
which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by
an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who
were confused by the Bill of Rights.
Copyright © Lewis W. Napper. All Rights Reserved.