To: NotNeiderhoffer who wrote (1221 ) 9/7/2000 9:19:57 PM From: NotNeiderhoffer Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 1331 Story 6799 NEW YORK--(REUTERS) In a hastily convened news conference next to Moshe's Kosher Falafel Cart on the northeast corner of 46th and Sixth Avenue, Kobi-Wan and NotNeiderhoffer spoke following Comverse's presentation today at the Schroder Salomon Smith Barney Technology Conference. "I would like to thank Kobi, Chief Technology Officer Sachi Gerlitz, CFO David Kreinberg and of course Paul Baker for their most excellent presentation today in front of at least 200 money managers at todays conference. Bill and Ted could not have done a better job. I honestly did not think that you could fit that many bloated wall street egos in the same room, but I saw it with my own eyes" claimed the mercurial money manager who looked uncomfortable wearing a suit after going tieless through the casual summer of 2000. Kobi took the microphone, the bags under his eyes testifying to the 120 hour weeks he regularly logs running the pre-eminent midcap wireless play listed on any US bourse "Our stock has recently been buffeted by rumors regarding the nascent unified messaging market but I would like to re-focus investor interest on our other businesses. Our customers are adding over 1 million new accounts per week and of course they are all given voice mail boxes. Non-mailbox services are growing in excess of 100% per year and are approaching 20% of revenue in our Network Systems division. Half of this is wireless data, primarily SMS and the remainder is largely prepaid services." Drawing a deep breath after a bite of his falafel w/hotsauce, Kobi went on to add "We now have 80 wireless data customers and 45 prepaid customers. And if you must know, we are approaching our 40th unified messaging customer. We also have several new services in development, including m-commerce, voice recognition and instant messaging services. We are generating record amounts of cash flow and will soon have $1 billion in the bank. Last but not least, investors might be pleased to know that we are seriously considering holding conference calls to discuss our quarterly results. Thank You for your support" as Kobi stepped back, Tahini sauce dripping from his chin, NotNeiderhoffer took control of the meeting "The past few weeks having been trying times for the CMVT camp. Although Kobi rightfully focused on the excellent business trends, I would like to announce several new initiatives. First, I have filed a 13-D on Alliance TechSystems (ATK-NYSE). This leading maker of munitions should allow me to more easily source ammo in my underground war with the PHCM camp. I would expect my Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) training to pay off in spades in the war against these bozos" "In addition, effective immediately I am placing Comverse AXE Tim Luke of Lehman Brothers on Double-Secret Probation. As many of you know, Tim recently initiated PHCM with a buy rating. He might of well stabbed us in the back and this act of insolence will not go unpunished" commented NotN, determination growing in his voice. "In my opinion this action was the biggest disturbance in THE FORCE since some idiot at British Telecom picked Unisys for their messaging platform." "I will be watching his every move and reading between the lines of his First Call notes. If I see so much as a typo, I will revoke his status as CMVT AXE and he will be replaced by one of the following nominees" he said as Kobi handed him a white envelope. "Nominees for the new CMVT AXE are as follows: Elan Zivotofsky of Goldman Sachs Victor Halpert of Schroder Salomon Smith Barney Darkhorse Howard Smith of First Analysis and token gentile Ed Jackson of US Bancorp Piper Jaffray. They are deserving candidates and I wish them all well." after stepping back from the falafel cart to admire one of the more stunning hotties flitting around making lunch runs in the brilliant fall sunshine, NotNeiderhoffer continued on "as you know the stock of Krispy Kreme has posted slightly better post-IPO performance than our own ULCM, which came public the same day as KREM. Personally, I find this highly embarrassing. Thus I have joined forces with Ralph Nader to form the Foundation Against Triglycerides (FAT). Krispy Kreme doughnuts are the biggest public health hazard since the Corvair. The Corvair was unsafe at any speed and the KREM donuts are unsafe in any flavor. We must stop the madness" "After we wreck KREM's stock price, and ULCM stockholders get their self-respect back, we will then get rid of Nader, because I cannot stand the guy. I have formed a group called Dump Our Nader (DON) which will ship him off to his Communist buddies in Moscow." "Thank you for gathering here today. Remember we only have three weeks until the fund complexes mark up this stock as we end the third quarter. $100 a share or Bust! NotsureifyouknewIwill_SWAT_FAT_DON-ListwinNeiderhoffer