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Pastimes : Ask God -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barnabus who wrote (31542)	9/22/2000 7:33:11 PM
From: Jamey	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 39621

Real Godly wisdom, Barney? I can tell you I know for sure that nothing but a complete re-arrangement of his emotions and mental workings can ever deliver him and that can only be done by God, not bosses, wives or friends. Well meaning loved ones only serve to enable him further. Anybody can quit. I did it hundreds of times. Getting over the physical addiction is not the problem. Alcoholism is not about the symptom of drinking. It is about the mental quirk that causes one to reach for the drink knowing what it is doing to him and family every time he does it. That is the problem. Thinking that this time he can handle it. All of you stand back and be in constant prayer for him and his family. People seldom realize it, but wife and children are always affected almost as badly. Buy him a case of Jack Daniels and wish him well. Don't cover for him or protect him from his destructive actions. If it is God's will that he recover, he will hit bottom and manage to salvage what is left of his life. It usually requires the loss of the alcoholics family, job and anything else he holds dear, before he is able to fully understand just how sick he really is. There are few happy endings to this addiction. I think about it often. It is still a battle for me to accept the devastation it causes to many good people. It is still hard for me to not want to make it better in some way for the practicing alcoholic. There are many who ride it all the way. I can only believe that those who die drunk serve as a testament to those who may make it. I know you were expecting something bright and rosy from me. I wish I could. Santiago

To: Barnabus who wrote (31542)	9/22/2000 9:19:50 PM
From: Jamey	Respond to of 39621

If your friend ever expresses a sincere desire to quit, you might be able to refer him to Overcomers Outreach. Go here and see if there is a group in his area. If he is religious, he might feel more comfortable with that group than A.A. overcomersoutreach.org Regards, Santiago

To: Barnabus who wrote (31542)	9/22/2000 11:25:45 PM
From: haqihana	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 39621

Barnabus, I have also been there and done that where alcohol is concerned, and must agree with James. IMO, the only way a drunk can get sober, is to hit his own individual bottom, until something becomes more important to him than running away from life, and climbing into the bottle. Each person has a different bottom, and I have never known a formula for knowing what that is in an individual. Any attempt by a family member, or friend, is likely to be of no avail. The drunk knows in his heart that his actions are hurting these people, but the insidious hold of the bottle, prevents him from caring. Any attempt to keep him away from the booze is doomed to failure. Some well meaning people say that others become drunks because they lack will power. I submit, that if you want to see will power in action, just try to keep a drunk away from a drink. In many cases that I have seen, a tough approach is more effective than the honeyed method. When the drunk realizes that no one is going to wring their hands over his drinking, he may begin to wonder what use there is in doing the drinking. I am, by no means, an expert in this field, but have been around such situations on numerous occasions, and wanted to get my two cents worth in. It is fine to pray for the afflicted one, but do not forget to pray for those that care about him, and are feeling such terrible distress over his problem. They need the help of God to weather the storm that is, almost, sure to come. ~;=;o --haqi

To: Barnabus who wrote (31542)	9/23/2000 9:22:19 AM
From: Alan Markoff	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 39621

Dear Barnabus, This is such a sad situation. Maybe the wife could get connected with Alanon to help her build a life for herself and learn to cope better. I have experienced a confrontation by AA members to someone on a course like this and have seen it successful in getting them into recovery. But as James and Haqi have shared the Lord is the healer of all and I will seriously take this entire family to prayer. Are his parents living? Thank you for your love and support always, you are an encourager. Nancy P.S. I think we should pray against another suicide attempt too.