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To: Cheesehead who wrote (65606)	9/29/2000 6:25:53 PM
From: cavan	Respond to of 150070

ONE more funny friday!! I GOT THIS FROM A FEMALE! > > >> > BECAUSE I'M A MAN! > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car > > >> > > > >> > I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore > > >> > > > >> > your suggestions that we call a road service > > >> > > > >> > until long after hypothermia has set in. > > >> > > > >> > >>>---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running > > >> > > > >> > very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine > > >> > > > >> > as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man > > >> > > > >> > shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be > > >> > > > >> > able to fix these things, but now with all these computers > > >> > > > >> > and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." > > >> > > > >> > We will then drink beer. > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need > > >> > > > >> > someone to bring me soup and take care of me while > > >> > > > >> > I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, > > >> > > > >> > so for you this isn't an issue > > >> > > > >> > >>>---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to > > >> > > > >> > purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk > > >> > > > >> > or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items > > >> > > > >> > like "Cumin" or "Tofu" For all I know these are the same > > >> > > > >> > thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to > > >> > > > >> > pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" > > >> > > > >> > is a euphemism. > > >>>---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances > > >> > > > >> > stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite > > >> > > > >> > evidence that this will just cost me twice as much > > >> > > > >> > once the repair person gets here and has to put it > > >> > > > >> > back together. > > >>>---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, I must hold the television > > >> > > > >> > remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If > > >> > > > >> > the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole > > >> > > > >> > show looking for it (though one time I was able to > > >> > > > >> > survive by holding a calculator). > > >>>---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that > > >> > > > >> > lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask > > >> > > > >> > someone. Why would you listen to a complete > > >> > > > >> > stranger-I mean, how the #### could he know > > >> > > > >> > where we're going? > > >>>---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me > > >> > > > >> > what I'm thinking about. The answer is always > > >> > > > >> > either sex or football, though I have to make up > > >> > > > >> > something else when you ask, so don't. > > >>>---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your > > >> > > > >> > mother, or have your mother come visit us, or > > >> > > > >> > talk to her when she calls, or think about her > > >> > > > >> > any more than I have to. Whatever you got her > > >> > > > >> > for mother's day is okay, I don't need to see it. > > >> > > > >> > And don't forget to pick up something for my Mom > > >> > > > >> > too!! > > >>>---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I > > >> > > > >> > liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the > > >> > > > >> > end of it, I didn't. > > >>>---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is > > >> > > > >> > fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes > > >> > > > >> > ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With > > >> > > > >> > the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You > > >> > > > >> > look fine. Can we just go now? > > >>>---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the > > >> > > > >> > 2000's, I will share equally in the housework. > > >> > > > >> > You just do the laundry, the cooking, the > > >> > > > >> > gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do > > >> > > > >> > the rest. Good Luck To All, Cavan