>>>Dear Mr. President:
> >
I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank me,
I voted for Clinton-Gore." So, I sat down and r eflected on that and I am sending my "Thank you" for what you have done, specifically:
1. Thank you for introducing us to Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and, of course,Juanita Broaddrick, who told NBC that you raped her. Are there any others that we should know about?<<<
Seems like you Republicans glorify sex much in the same manner as how that package got sent to former NY Congressman Tom Downey. In actuality, I think you have to thank the Gingrich rightwing get-Clinton-at-any-cost faction for glorifying sex in the White House.
>>>2. Thank you for teaching my 8-year-old about oral sex. I had really planned to wait until he was about 10 or so to discuss it with him, but now he knows more about it than I did as a senior in college. The cigar thing was also neat for the kids.<<<
Had Republican Ken Starr submitted a report on Whitewater about Whitewater, rather than a porn novel, such documentation never would have been before the consciousness of your child. Incidentally, in Starr's oringial report--the one which brought you cigar, etc.--Whitewater wasn't even mentioned a half a dozen times. It was all about sex. Why? 'Cause former Nixon Aide, Lucien Goldberg, put Linda Tripp up to helping to catch Clinton in a fib 'bout sex. By the way, have you yet informed your child that they, too, will likely grow up and lie about sex--just 'bout everyone does that, don't they?
>>>3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place (especially the White House) and on the job is OK, and what the meaning of "IS" is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not sex and one person may have sex while the other one involved does NOT have sex. Monica said frequently while you were on the phone, she would work at one end, and you at the other. What productivity!<<<
Seems to me, Frank, you're wasting your own productive efforts here, aren't ya? Sure seems that way. However, to address the matter of sexual harrasment, isn't it true that the Clinton administration done more on behalf of womens issues than any adminstration in this nation's history? And you wonder why the Dems get the female vote!
>>>4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new generation and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag The Dog" could be plausible after all. The people of the Sudan, Afghanistan and Serbia are all running to rent the video, now that you made them part of the story.<<<
Again, you're thanking the wrong party(s). Repubublicans wanted the impeachment, they got it. By the way, how come none of the House managers who led the impreachment, or any of the Republican senators who championed the debacle, were featured at the recent Republican Convention? Was it because it was something that never should have been done in the first place? Seems that way, don't it?
>>>5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful, Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy look moral.<<<
Read this again, Frank. Don't you think what you wrote is strange?
>>>6. Thank you for the 72 House and Senate witnesses who have pleaded the 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about Democrat campaign fund raising.<<<
Please tell us what you know about Republican fundraising? In fact, why don't you get Bob Dole's comment on this one. You really think George W. Bush just raised an easy 100 million for his primaries? Funny how Bush spent it all, isn't it?
>>>7. Thank you for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonments from the Whitewater "mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so far) in the other "Clinton" scandals.<<<
How much money has the Republican congress wasted investigating Clinton's administration? 70 million on Whitewater (er, execuse me, your sexgate thing); 35 million on Espy...the list goes on. Hey, I thought you guys were frugal!
>>>8. Thanks for remembering the families of many deceased people who once were your friends, who served you and died so young and suddenly: Vince Foster, Jerry Parks, Ron Brown, Admiral Boorda, Les Aspin, Barbara Alice Wiese, Mary Mahoney, Jim McDougal et al.
Frank, I think you're paranoid. Whatta you think?
>>>9. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, putting" much of our foreign policy, and for providing no real missile defense system for the American people. Thank you for sharing with our Chinese friends all of our nuclear weapon designs, the supercomputer technology to build such weapons, the ballistic missile technology so they can have more accurate missiles, and the encryption technology so they can keep it all secret too.<<<
Yes, you are paranoid, aren't you?
10. You are amazing visiting all those countries! Thank you for flying all over the world on "vacations" carefully disguised as necessary trips. It's wonderful, too, how you have surpassed every other president in the size of your entourage on these trips: 75 jumbo jets, 2000 guests to China alone. Your Africa entourage also was remarkable and it was nice of you to bring Betty Currie. She needed a break from testifying before the grand jury.<<<
Hey, let's handcuff the president, keep him in the White House, don't let him out and shut down his telephone, fax and Internet access. Strangely, you forgot that many of those trips were to help open U.S. business relatoinships abroad. You do know that globalization request some degree of political stewardship, don't ya?
>>>Please give my regards to Hillary, when/if you see her. Tell her I'm working on a "Thank You" letter for her. Looking forward to January 2001.<<<
I was wondering when you were going to get to Hilary. Anyway, thanks for being objective, Frank.
>>>Average Joe<<<
OK, let's dismantle the Department of Education so we can all be average. Frank, don't you see even the slightest hint of the dumbing of America? Let's just all watch television and let the corporations have their way--that'll solve everything, won't it? So long as we're all sitting in our easy chairs thinking faithfully, no wrong can harm us. Right? Wrong. Wake up and smell the coffee, Frank!!! |
