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Microcap & Penny Stocks : TGL WHAAAAAAAT! Alerts, thoughts, discussion. -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: CerealMan who wrote (67826)	10/20/2000 4:02:38 PM
From: CerealMan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 150070

friday's funnies... Top Ten Organized Crime Money Savings Tips... 10. When taking a body out to Jersey, use mass transit... 9. Every time you kill a guy, put a nickel in a jar... 8. Tap into nearly endless supply of cheap hit-men... 7. Make threatening phone calls after 11pm, when rates are lowest... 6. When you whack two or three guys, stuff them in same trunk and carpool it... 5. Inexpensive pinkie ring substitute: Plastic tab-pull from half gallon of orange juice... 4. Fire pricey nickname consultants -- everyone is either "Fat Tony" or "Knuckles."... 3. Pasta is very inexpensive and very filling.... 2. Forget expensive car bombs--just sneak up behind the guy and yell, "Ker-pow!"... 1. Limit yourself to ten "fugeddaboudits" a day... The doctor took his patient into the room and said, "I have some good news and some bad news." The patient said, "Give me the good news." "They're going to name a disease after you." A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the driver, he was astounded to see a blonde behind the wheel knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn, and yelled, PULLOVER!" "NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" Two neighboring farmers cannot stop feuding. One, out hunting, shoots a duck which falls inside the other's field. Climbing over the fence, he is stopped by farmer #2 who claims the duck as his since it ended up in his field. After much arguing farmer #2 states that he is prepared to settle the matter by the Viking method. He explains that the method involves kicking each other in turn between the legs until one gives up, and the other is the winner. Farmer #1 agrees reluctantly. Farmer #2 states that since they are on his land, he goes first. Farmer #1 stands with legs apart and hands on hips while Farmer #2 takes an almighty swing with his foot and sends farmer #1 into the air. After ten minutes writhing on the ground farmer #1 eventually gets to his feet and prepares to take his turn. Farmer #2 turns and walks away saying " O.K. I give in! You keep the duck!" Jon is working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, when he accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do." Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers." The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? It's 2000. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?" Jon says, "Well, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up." and finally... A man is walking by a mental hospital surrounded by a high wooden fence when he hears voices chanting. The voices are saying excitedly, "13! 13! 13! 13!" He's very curious, so he looks through a hole in the fence, and someone pokes him in the eye. "Ouch!" he says. Then he hears the voices chanting, "14! 14! 14! 14!" have a good weekend...pops...