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Politics : PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Neocon who wrote (52589)	10/26/2000 11:43:35 AM
From: ColtonGang	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 769667

Nothing like a little laughter from gwbushjokes.com. Jokes: (laughter makes a great election day gift, so tell your favorite joke to a friend) How many George Bushes does it take to change a lightbulb? 2 , 1 to change it and 1 to lethally inject the old lightbulb. (from Valerie, Thanks!) Why does George W. Bush keep his fly open? (from Sharon, Thanks!) A: In case he has to count to eleven. So why doesn't he just use his toes? A: Because going barefoot in public would be embarrassing. A club in New York has designated every Tuesday night until the election "Bush Jr. Night." You get in free if your parents call and make your reservation. Q: What were George W. Bush's three hardest years? A: Second grade. Bush's original idea for a campaign slogan - "Reform 'N Stuff." George W. Bush said he is going to run his own campaign and be his own man. The amazing thing is he said this while his father was drinking a glass of water. A touching father and son moment: BUSH Sr.: Read my nose: no new taxes. BUSH Jr: Er ..... Isn't that's meant to be "Read my lips." BUSH Sr.: No, Son. If they watch my lips, they'll see that I'm lying through my teeth. Read my nose, no new taxes. What did Mickey Mouse get for Christmas? A George W. Bush watch. How can you tell George W. Bush apart from a cow? By the wise look in its eyes. (Warning, the following was actually a Dan Quayle quote, but why think up new Bush material when we can just recycle all the Quayle stuff) "Julian Bond, speaking at a Big Eight Conference on Black Student Government at the University of Colorado Feb 18 had this to say about George W. Bush: 'He thinks Roe v. Wade are options for crossing the Potomac.'" What's the difference George Bush and a chimpanzee? One has nearly the mental abilities of a human child and the other likes to eat bananas. George Bush on his upbringing- "Our parents were of Midwestern stock and very strict. They didn't want us to grow up to be spoiled and rich. If we left our tennis racquets in the rain, we were punished." (not a real quote) Top 5 Bush Pickup lines in college : 5. "Is that a false nose?" 4. "You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno." 3. "I'm drunk." 2. "You're ugly but you intrigue me." 1. "I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that." Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, & George W. Bush are in a boat in the middle of the ocean. The boat is sinking. Who gets saved? The American People! What is a Bush supporter? What the governor wears under his swimming trunks. A Bush foreign policy idea designed to win over minority voters - Appoint a black man as ambassador to the Bermuda Triangle. Why will they bury George W. Bush face down? So he can see where he is going. How many George Bushs does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to promise he'll do it better than anyone else, and one to obscure the issues. How can you tell if George W. Bush is lying? His lips are moving. How many Bush supporters does it take to change a light bulb? Six, one to turn the bulb and five to create a related tax loophole for the rich . What happens when you cross James Dean with George Bush? You get a rebel without a clue. Seen on a rest room wall in Houston: If you voted for George Bush, you can't shit here...your asshole is in Austin. George Bush Jr. Georgy Porgy pudding and pie, Took cocaine which made him high, When the sheriff came his way, Georgy's pa sent him away. Georgy Porgy wasn't daft, Wanted to avoid the draft, He found being a coward not too hard, Daddy's friends got him into the guard. Georgy Porgy businessman With daddy's money his career began, When the seed money all dried up, Georgy's business went belly up. Georgy Porgy governor guy Brought the crime rate up so high, And that was not his only solution, Texas is number one on pollution. Georgy Porgy for President, Does not know where the money all went. But if he has to fight Al Gore, His daddy's friends will get him more. Georgy Porgy's a true Texan, Though he may fail again and again, As long as his father has wealthy friends, He'll do to us, what he did to them. Why is George Bush so hard-headed? His skull protects the weakest part of his body. OTHER SITES>......Other humorous Bush sites (from gwbush.com): GWBush Art Unauthorized Bush(Sr.) Bio GWBush.Com Bush is the Antichrist (with a well-reasoned argument) The Bush Body Count GeorgeBush2000.com LittleGeorgeBush.com BushCampaignHQ.com Another "questionable" Bush site Bushlite.net GeorgyBush.com trimnbush2shrub.org BushSuckz.com bushsucks.com The Serial President and Bush Kills Web Sites BushDrugUpdate.com The Queen Mother (Ma Bush on kids and drugs) Bush Song Page www.BushAndCheneySuck.Com The Cheney Reaction GWBush: Hypocrisy on Parade