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Politics : Ask Michael Burke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Knighty Tin who wrote (84613)10/27/2000 1:45:24 AM
From: ild  Read Replies (4) | Respond to of 132070
 
OT:I Love Texas:

May 30th:
Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts
blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying
on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it
here.

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to
see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun
worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get
used to this kind of heat? Too bad it's not a dry heat. Getting used
to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.)
Missed two days of work. What a @#%*&$ dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and just as I opened the
door,she exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told
the kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and shit. No
more pets in this heat!

July 25th:
Dry #@*&$!% heat, my ass. Hot is hot!! The home air conditioner is
on the fritz and the *&$%@ A/C repairman charged $200 just to drive by
and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,500 in
%$@)* house payments and we can't even go inside. Why the holy $%#!)
did I ever come here?

Aug 4th:
115 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman peed
in my pool. I hate this #@*&$!% state.

Aug 8th:
If another wise jerk cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to
tear his #@*&$!% throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the
radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like
roadkill!!

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and
sunny. It's been too hot two #@*& months and the comedian weatherman
says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this
barren ^&%#$@ desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all summer,
so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the #@*&$!%
pool.Even a cactus can't live in this ^&%$!*& heat.

Aug 14th:
Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack
the window and blew the #@*&$!% windshield out of the Lincoln. The
installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife
had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Aug 30th:
Worst day of the #$@*&^ summer. I'm not leaving the house. The #@*&$!%
monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than
Devil's Island. The ^%#@*& Lincoln is now floating somewhere in the
Gulf of Mexico with its new $500 windshield.

That does it! We're moving back to California where all you have to
worry about is earthquakes.