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Politics : Al Gore vs George Bush: the moderate's perspective -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Slugger who wrote (4290)	11/2/2000 1:30:18 AM
From: Ben Wa	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 10042

BREAKING NEWS : RALPH NADER, AL GORE, GEORGE W BUSH, & THE OTHER GUY DROP OUT OF PRESIDENTIAL RACE. IN A COORDINATED RADIO AND TELEVISION SIMULCAST EXPRESS THEIR VIEWS THAT ALL VOTES SHOULD GO TO BEN-WA FOR PRESIDENT. PERENNIAL CANDIDATE LYNDON LaROUCH WAS HEARD TO SAY, "WHAT?" ALL MAJOR CANDIDATES CONFESS THAT THEIR IDEALS HAVE BEEN COMPROMISED BEYOND REPAIR. NADER TOLD HIS GREEN PARTY SUPPORTERS - "That Ben-Wa, he's got video of me in my Mercedes SUV. It gets 6 miles to the gallon. I'm toast." Gore confessed to the nation, "I'VE COVERED UP THE ENVIRONMENTAL INFRACTIONS OF MY ZINC MINING INTERESTS, nobody knows about the Polaroid stuff yet, but..oh..well, never mind that...but if I become President, I will have less time to satisfy my wife in the way only a manly man like myself can. And if you saw my boner on the cover of Rolling Stone, you know what I mean." After recovering from Gore's ribald confessinal, George W. said to the nation, "There's really only one man fit to lead this country into the 20th century, and I have the guts and humility to know when we've found that man. Oh, errrr....21st? Yeah, whatever. So, we have that individual and if asked, I will be pround to serve as his running mate. Although pleased with the confessionals of all major candidates, Ben Wa could only say to the sea of reporters that his would be a gentler, kinder form of government. An administration that believed that the greatest nation on earth would lead other nations, not by lecture, but by setting examples. Well aware of the risks of inspiring envy by those who might dismiss such lofty goals, he also promised (in an effort to garner the male voting block), to enslave all the women and kill all post-pubescent males of any nation that would come between us and our divine destiny. Due to not belonging to any political party, Mr. Wa let it be known that he would only accept such a position of responsibility if the people truly wanted to have him there. A hush spread out over the crowd. The next day, the sun rose over America. And from that day on, it never set.