Hi Mary and threadsters, OT (Very off-topic)
/* Heavy OT topic, so you may want to stop here and not continue to read this */
RE: "Is our "Amy a Bull" wavering?"
Of course not and absolutely not, however, if I sounded like I'm wavering a bit (which I'm not), I think I'm entitled to it since my Dad had triple by-pass surgery today, which fortunately was very successful. The odds these days for by-passes are amazingly good (only 3% risk), and even less risk for someone like my Dad who is otherwise very healthy.
But I'm not sure how my Mom is going to fair this challenge and handle it. My Dad was in good spirits before the surgery and I even got him to laugh when I asked him if he was getting a 3 for 1 special deal (he loves jokes).
The following is very off-topic, and maybe is more of a question for Tejek on the AMD thread and my friends, but my friends are stumped by this particular question which I have, and so am I for the moment, so maybe others have some ideas.
I struggle with the fact that I tend to pick up clues into my parents' health well before others do (about 6 weeks ago with my Dad), because I am the most sensitive one in the family, yet, I have not figured out an effective way to communicate to my siblings on these early detections that I pick up, so my observations tend to get ignored, possibly because they aren't articulated in tangible medical terms or in a way they can see it. However, I'm not sure how I could effect a change to this.
Prior to my Mom entering the hospital (she's been ill too), I was struggling with trying to convince my sister that my Mom's health needed attention, however, my observations were ignored, because my sister (who is the family's designated person in charge of my parent's health) just doesn't believe what she cannot "see" and she doesn't see much because her level of sensitivity and observation aren't that high.
My siblings just aren't sensitive, so they lack the skills to see early warning signs in people's health. This puts the burden on me. However, when I articulate my observations, my observations get ignored because, hey, they can't "see" it, so they dismiss it (rather than realize that their level of awareness just isn't high enough to "see" it). This isn't magic, it's just using a keen observation, which they simply lack.
Maybe I need to communicate with them my track record to prove that what is intangible to them is actually tangible to me. You can easily tell if someone is having a health problem simply by a person's skin color, eyes, or their behavior.
Would sharing this with them convince them? One time, we were dancing about 10 feet from a couple where the husband looked like he was going to have a heart attack, so I told my friend (not the observant type), and he looked and thought the person (who was dancing) looked okay. I suddenly felt sick because of what I was sensing about this person's health, yet I sort of doubted my observation because my friend didn't seem to think anything was wrong with him (and I was too young to know myself well enough to trust my observation). I felt sick enough that I had to stop dancing. As I was walking to the chairs to sit down, the person (who was dancing) suddenly had a heart-attack and died. I was really freaked out because he was surrounded by his relatives, loved ones, and friends, and yet none of them observed what I observed, even though they were so close to him. How can they be close to someone, yet not observe their well-being?
Another time, years ago, I interviewed with a manager at a F500 who looked like he was going to have a heart attack (you could see it visually in the face and the movements), and several months later he had a heart attack - not a surprise.
One night, I woke up and told my Mom that I thought my Aunt had passed away. She did. My Mom was surprised, I wasn't. (I think my Aunt, who was in the hospital, didn't talk over the phone with my Mom the night before, so I believe this data point and also my Aunt's overall condition gave me the impression something was wrong).
I wish I could dismiss all of this, but my observations tend to be correct, especially with my Mom - and maybe if I had been listened to, which was 3 weeks before my Mom's admission to the hospital, she wouldn't have declined as much. It's very painful to have this level of sensitivity and observation, when no action is taken - it makes me feel like I'm watching something really bad happening but am not able to effect action to help even though I know something is wrong. This is painful.
I'm wondering how I can effect a change in this? I don't think I've done a good job at articulating my observations or made them aware of my level of sensitivity that gives me this ability to observe in detail. However, the two times that I observed my Mom's health declining, I got quite vocal about it, and was completely ignored. Both of the two times, my sister said, "Mom is just fine. Just drop it." However, both times, my Mom was admitted to the hospital shortly after my observations, and she was seriously ill.
My sister told me today, "when Dad is recovered, I am going to talk with him and tell him to make sure to tell me when something is wrong." ARG! (I bit my tongue, I figured today wasn't the opportune day to take on this issue with her).
Any suggestions on this matter? Do I:
a) start a "family marketing campaign" and communicate my message to my family, over and over again until they "get it", which is: I'm sensitive, so I can observe things that they may not be able to see about people's health, so that should be my role (identifying).
b) articulate the "tangible" results to my sister and other siblings so they can "see" how things that were intangible to them were actually tangible to me, and thus, predictable.
c) find another way around this, because people only believe and see what they are able to handle, and nothing I could do would change this. In general, I'm meeting resistance with my family members because they are not sensitive enough to observe what I observe (or, is it because they can't handle what I observe?)
It is extremely painful to have this "gift of sensitivity", because it's like being on an island by myself when my parents begin to falter in their health, yet action isn't taken when I observe things that my siblings don't see because they don't have a keen observation, so it's like I'm watching something bad happening but am not able to effect action to help even though I know something is wrong. This is painful because advanced action would have helped.
Fortunately, I sense my Dad is going to be fine, so I'm at peace with this. But, where were folks 6 weeks ago, when I told my sister that it sounds like something is wrong with my Dad? So, this needs to be resolved, for future instances.
Any suggestions how? Keep in mind, they just aren't sensitive enough to observe to the extent that I can, so they can't see advance warning signs, nor do they believe in things they can't see - it's got to be hard data (they aren't very intuitive).
Regards,
Amy J PS Please feel free to PM me, rather than take up bandwidth on the INTC thread. |
