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Pastimes : Insults Only..... -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Wayners who wrote (16767)	11/3/2000 3:30:24 PM
From: Nite-Man	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 30928

Police arrested Wayne Van Scoyoc, a 47 year old white male, resident of White Plains, NY, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Scoyoc will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't." he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. Scoyoc went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented without a shred of embarrassment. In the process, Scoyoc apparently failed to notice the White Plains police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Nite-Man approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure" said officer Man. "I walked up to (Scoyoc) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin, the sick bastard." Nite-Man went on to describe what happened when he approached Scoyoc. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me you friggin pervert, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin!? Damn...is it midnight already?'"