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Politics : PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mr. Palau who wrote (61687)	11/7/2000 3:29:38 PM
From: SecularBull	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 769670

Draft Gore Concession Speech from Washington Post: Concession Speech, November 7, 2000. Note: All transcripts preliminary and possibly fictional. The Vice President: I have placed a call to my opponent, Governor Bush, and have congratulated him on his victory. I wished him luck in his presidency, and apologized for any insinuations on my part, during the campaign, that he was unintelligent. Actually I did not use the word "insinuations." Throughout the phone call I refrained from using multi-syllabic words. I have also placed calls of congratulations to Senator Lott, to Speaker Hastert, and to Secret Republican Lord of Darkness DeLay. When I have the time I plan to make additional calls of congratulations to the richest 1 percent of Americans. I had hoped tonight to stand before you as the future 43rd president of the United States of America. It was a job I had prepared for since the age of two, when I first learned to deny that I needed a diaper change. I accept full responsibility for this defeat, and cast no blame whatsoever on the strategists who told me to run as an enraged, spittle-spewing populist. Nor should this loss be attributed in any way to my association with the president, whose deplorable conduct and subsequent impeachment stood out on the political landscape as a heaving volcano of slime. The president is my friend, and although I did not want to campaign in person with him, and tried to keep him at least two time zones away at all times, I was pleased by his recent efforts to rally the vote for me in American Samoa. I made mistakes in this campaign. First and foremost, I should have tried harder to resemble a normal human being. Since childhood I have spoken in complete paragraphs, carefully enunciated, with a slight note of condescension, even in those moments when I've slammed my thumb with a hammer. I don't even sigh normally. I sigh as though I've been practicing my sighs and tried to do it too perfectly. In terms of posture, I have rigidity issues. I am the least funky man in America. On the plus side, this defeat means that, tonight, I won't have to dance. I know there are people who say that I pandered. To those of you who think I tried to be all things to all people, you're absolutely correct. I'm sorry for that. It was wrong. To those of you who think I did not try to be all things to all people, I think you're right, too. Thanks for your support! There were times during this campaign when I was not certain of what kind of candidate I wanted to be. It may have been a mistake to spend the month of May, for example, campaigning as a blond. Eventually, I hit my stride and found my voice. I caught fire! Unfortunately, this happened at 4 o'clock this morning at the rally in Tampa. To the American people, let me say, this election was not about Al Gore. This election was not about George W. Bush. This election was about YOU. And you have let me down. You were given the choice between good and evil. I accept your decision. This is a free country, and you are within your rights to choose the path to eternal damnation in the burning lake of fire. I would choose harsher language but I'm trying to keep this on a dignified plane. I look forward now to some down time. Tipper and I will take a vacation and will engage in frenetic marathons of passionate love-making. If you see enormous flocks of birds exploding from the trees you'll know we're nearby. Then I will go home, as soon as I determine whether that home is in Washington or Tennessee. On the job front, I'm obviously entertaining offers. To potential employers, let me remind you: I'll do anything.