OT..humor....this is a barrel of laughs...check it out
Slider I cut this out for you ...copied it from lee kramer on the moving now thread...It is truly hilarious..A little diatribe he has whipped up to keep us traders smiling...
Susan G who wrote (6304)
From: lee kramer Saturday, Nov 11, 2000 8:33 AM ET
Reply # of 6345
DAYTRADING: The Highs and the Woes
The market looks awful, so I went to see my shrink, the all-knowing and former Roto-Rooter repairman Doc Kronkite. I think he's crazy, but he's Suzy's cousin and if I don't go see him when the market makes me crazy Suzy says "You want to make nick nick tonight? you'll go see Doc Kronkite." She has me. I go.
Doc Kronkite specializes in day-traders. He thinks we're all fruitcakes. I think day-trading is the only way to go. We fight about this all the time. "Buy a good stock, hold it" he'll say to me as I lie on his lumpy couch.
"But Doc, how do you know what a good stock is?"
"Idiot! A good stock goes up, a bad stock goes down."
"But doc" I cry, "don't good stocks sometimes go down?"
"No problem" he says, "if they drop a bit, you just buy more. Simple. It's called 'buying the dips' or dollar-cost averaging. A strategy developed by one of my patients, Mendlebaum-the-fund-manager. He handles all my investments. Matriculated at Harvard even."
"No kidding Doc?"
"Would I kid you kid? Mendlebaum's a genius."
"Gee Doc, you must be making a bundle."
"Well, not exactly. We're currently in one of those dips. But Mendelbaum assures me that it's temporary and he's loading me up on more of my good stocks" he said.
"Well then, you must be very happy."
"Mmmm. Actually I'm a little worried. Couldn't sleep much this week.
"You mean you've got a touch of insomnia?" I asked.
"Absolutely not. It's just that my stocks have backed off a little" he barked.
"Say Doc, what stocks do you have?"
"Mendelbaum put me into IBM, one of the best stocks on the Big Board. You've heard of it maybe. Loaded me up around 125. Closed yesterday around 93."
"So Mendelbaum must be buying more for you?" I asked.
"Absolutely. After I meet my margin call."
"You got a margin call doc?"
"Nothing to worry about."
"What else you holding doc?" I asked him.
"Mendelbaum put me into SUNW at 120, DELL at 55, PCLN at 92 and his all time favorite AMZN at 98."
I did some quick figuring. "Doc, you're down over 30 points in IBM, down 31 in SUNW, down 32 in DELL, down 91 in PCLN and you're down 70 points in AMZN."
"But Mendelbaum says they'll all come back. He's got me in very good stocks. He's a genius you know."
"Mmmm."
Then Doc Kronkite threw a blueberry muffin at the wall and said "I'm gonna strangle that Mendelbaum, the bum."
"Gee doc, I don't know what to say."
"Tell me how to day-trade. Please, I'm in crisis here."
"Well doc, I can't tell you exactly how to day-trade, but I can tell you the day-traders philosophy."
"Tell me, tell me. Talk on me already."
" See doc, day-traders love to trade. Buy something at 40, sell it at 43. Buy it back at 41, sell it 42 3/4."
"That's it?" he asked.
"No doc. Day-traders also play both sides of the street. We go long and we go short. And Doc, when the market closes at 4:00, we're in cash. See, every day is a new day. We don't have to worry that a company will miss their earnings numbers and open the next morning down 40%. Didn't your DELL announce the other day after the close that they might be in for a coupla rough quarters?
"Yes. And the stock was down 8 points! How can that be? It's a great company."
"It's a fine company doc, but the stock is in a pretty severe downtrend."
"Do you think it'll come back to 55 so I can sell it and break even?" he asked me.
"Gee Doc, I don't know. That could take a while, maybe a long while. I sure can't see that far ahead. I can't see into next week. That's why I go into cash when the market closes every day."
"So who do you follow? Who do day-traders follow?"
"Nobody doc. See, day-traders are a pretty strange group. Like Trekkies, left-handers and UFO'ers we tend to be opinionated, obstreperous and obnoxious. We detest fresh air, deadlines, standing in line, weekends, holidays and CNBC...especially the breathless and overly excitable Maria when she does her pre-opening touts.
"Deeply neurotic, most of us are our family's black-sheep. We have no heroes other than Bullwinkle, Larry, Moe & Curly and Ameritrade's "Stuart."
"But we love to trade doc. Aw baby, do we love to trade. In ANEN at 99, out at 104 ten minutes later. Short SUNW at 116, cover at 113 3/4 five minutes later."
"And you make money doing this?"
"I do OK doc."
"Make an appointment on your way out. Next week, same time. I want to hear more."
"Sure doc."
Lee Kramer
see ya all and have a great weekend...rok |
