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Strategies & Market Trends : VOLTAIRE'S PORCH-MODERATED -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Voltaire who wrote (14714)	11/11/2000 7:29:28 PM
From: John Carragher	Respond to of 65232

a little humor for the porch folks. Election Quotes "So here's the deal: We have George W. Bush, not the president of the United States; Al Gore, not the president of the United States -- whaddaya say we just leave it that way?" -- David Letterman "Every four years we remove one president and install another. It's kind of like changing the Kitty Litter, isn't it? You know what it's going to be: It's going to be the same thing." -- Jay Leno "There is still no winner. There is a state of confusion and not knowing in America. So I guess the Bush era has begun." -- Bill Maher "The outcome of the election still has not been determined, and now apparently it all comes down to how the Floridians voted. After hearing this, George Bush said "Please, let's not bring the foreigners into this." -- Conan O'Brien "Both candidates are feeling the pressure. Al Gore has been testy with his staff and late today George W. Bush broke down and yelled at his parents, 'You Promised!'" -- Bill Maher "In times like this, it really makes you wonder about George W. Bush. Does he understand what's going on? Earlier today down in Austin, George W. Bush held a press conference and demanded a refill." -- David Letterman "I'm not saying Bush is getting confident he is going to win, but today he spent all day trying to pronounce 'inaugural.'" -- Jay Leno "If the recount fails to settle the issue, bush and Gore will stand in opposite corners of the country, call to Florida in a soothing voice and see which one the state comes to." -- Jon Stewart "Al Gore says the election is the choice between good and evil - thank you, Superman! -- David Letterman "I hope the election is resolved soon. The rest of the world is getting nervous. Like today, the Chinese said, 'We don't know who to write our checks to.'" -- Jay Leno "Al Gore voted the same way he does for every election: He went into the voting booth, closed the curtain and made out with Tipper." -- David Letterman ++++++++ Top Ten Things Overheard Last Night at the Florida Election Commission: [ From "Late Night with David Letterman, 11/8/2000 ] 10. "The first vote goes to Gore...call CNN and tell them Gore won." 9. "Wait! If my wet laundry is in the ballot box ... Oh my God! Stop the dryer!" 8. "If someone voted for 'the jerk,' do I give it to Gore or Bush?" 7. "Let's be extra careful, because every single vote counts ... ha, ha, ha, ha, just kidding!" 6. "120 ... 121 ... 122! Yes! I'm the ballot-eating champion!" 5. "This is much easier than my last job designing tires for Firestone" 4. "America must never know Ralph Nader actually won the election" 3. "Discard all these votes for Bush -- they're obviously left over from 1992" 2. "I'm sure gonna miss you guys when this is over. If only there was a way to make it last a few more days ..." ... and the Number One Thing Overheard Last Night at the Florida Election Commission: 1. "Heads Bush ... Tails Gore"

To: Voltaire who wrote (14714)	11/11/2000 7:34:49 PM
From: mrs goldberg	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 65232

i think all Americans should stop all the bitching about the election and spend all this wasted energy towards thanking and thinking about all those who have given their lives so we could have these elections. at least we got to vote even if it is screwed up. there is no such thing as an absentee vote for those who gave their lives, so lets be thankful. m.g.