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Strategies & Market Trends : VOLTAIRE'S PORCH-MODERATED -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: elpolvo who wrote (16475)	11/15/2000 12:53:44 PM
From: surfbaron	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 65232

L: That reminded me of an email I got that suggested fraud could be detected in the PBC area by inspecting the many thousands of thrown out ballots and the other candidates which were selected for the other offices. A preponderance for Reps for instance would suggest a Bush vote. If the majority were that way then fraud is possible.

To: elpolvo who wrote (16475)	11/15/2000 3:05:06 PM
From: abstract	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 65232

WASHINGTON D.C. - Following an emergency meeting Wednesday morning, Congress unanimously voted to excise Florida from the United States of America. The move was a reaction to the confusion and irregularities in the state's voting numbers that have totally disrupted the 2000 Presidential election. "This is the last straw," said Utah senator Orin Hatch. "First Elian Gonzales, now this." Several congressmen told reporters the decision has been a long time in coming. We're all pretty much sick of Florida," said representative Barney Frank. "They've been a constant embarrassment for too long now." Added Frank, "They had Dan Marino for a while, but what have they done lately? Oh that's right, screw up our entire democracy. I forgot." In a speech on the Senate floor, Massachusetts senator Ted Kennedy commented that the loss of Florida's sizable elderly population will free up billions of dollars in social security funds."These are valuable funds which can now be redirected toward national defense. We can finally rebuild our demoralized, weakened military," said the Senator to roaring applause. From her New York campaign headquarters, freshly elected senator Hilary Clinton echoes the sentiments of her future colleagues on Capitol Hill, calling Florida "a hurricane-addled hellhole full of scheming Cuban immigrants." "Learn @*&%$!# English already, you banana boat bums," Clinton added. As a result of the Florida screw-up, the House and Senate decreed a new election will take place in early December. This time, ballots in each state will be tabulated by robots. "It is clear that our human vote-counting system is too inherently flawed," said Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. "The presence of these new, superior robot mast- err, I mean - tabulators will ensure 100% accuracy." "Remember," said Hastert, "every vote counts, especially if it's counted by robots." Dynamiting will begin in Florida next Wednesday, after which the state will be completely geographically separated from the United States. "After that, they're on their own," said Hastert. "I hope they sink."