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Pastimes : Clown-Free Zone... sorry, no clowns allowed -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ken98 who wrote (38823)	11/18/2000 2:05:17 PM
From: patron_anejo_por_favor	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 436258

Nice discussion of junk bonds in the latest ContraryInvestor Market Observations. contraryinvestor.com In a nutshell, they think not yet, maybe in a quarter or two....

To: Ken98 who wrote (38823)	11/18/2000 2:51:59 PM
From: IceShark	Respond to of 436258

Yup, that is the Klintonistia way. Banana Republic. -L-

To: Ken98 who wrote (38823)	11/18/2000 6:00:54 PM
From: NucTrader	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 436258

>>Military personnel get their votes cancelled and felons get their votes counted. Hummmmm...<< And that, in a nutshell, is why Gore will be president. The Demos have the better crooks. Sorry if I sound cynical....

To: Ken98 who wrote (38823)	11/18/2000 6:13:37 PM
From: Oblomov	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 436258

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE > >To the citizens of the United States of America, > >In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to >govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your >independence, effective today. > >Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over >all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she >does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for >the 98.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world >outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need >for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A >questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you >noticed. > >To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules >are introduced with immediate effect: > >1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then >look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at >just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise >your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the >same >twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you >know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up >"interspersed". > >2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on >your behalf. > >3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It >really isn't that hard. > >4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the >good guys. > >5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", >but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get >confused and give up half way through. > >6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of >football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good >game. >The 1.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders >may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no >longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. >Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a >difficult >game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby >(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for >a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like >nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by >2005. > >7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if >they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there >is >a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians >have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit". > >8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new >national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day". > >9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your >own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. > >10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. > >Thank you for your cooperation. (received via email from a friend)