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Microcap & Penny Stocks : TGL WHAAAAAAAT! Alerts, thoughts, discussion. -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: y2kfree_radical who wrote (72071)	11/22/2000 5:50:18 PM
From: CerealMan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 150070

friday's funnies...t-day special... A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?" Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn. 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 2. The farm was used to produce produce. 3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10. I did not object to the object. 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row. 13. They were too close to the door to close it. 14. The buck does funny things when does are present. 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18. After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening. "I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers." There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the newest Porshe was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest dealer and says he wants to buy one, but he wants a large "S" painted on the driver's door. The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?" The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving." Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car painted for a small fee. The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!" and finally something to think about... Probing Questions!... Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe, you will believe it, but if someone tells you a wall has wet paint, you will have to touch it to be sure? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUPs? Are Lipton Tea employees allowed to take coffee breaks? What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker? Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? have a great holiday weekend... please designate a driver if you are going to "celebrate"... pops