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Strategies & Market Trends : NetCurrents NTCS -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jerry Olson who wrote (4886)	11/26/2000 7:46:05 PM
From: Frederick Langford	Respond to of 8925

OJ, Can't get into room, same password as firetalk? Fred

To: Jerry Olson who wrote (4886)	11/26/2000 7:55:39 PM
From: Teri Garner	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 8925

It May Not Be Wise to Take Wall Street at Its Own Words By JONATHAN CLEMENTS Staff Reporter of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL "It's a dead-cat bounce": Believe me, there is no justification for this rally. "The market is in a narrow trading range": Prices aren't jumping around as much as usual, and nobody can figure out why. "Bonds retreated on bearish comments from the Fed": Once again, nobody understood what Alan Greenspan said. But why else could bonds have fallen? "We're near-term cautious but long-term optimistic": Don't blame us if the market tanks. "The stock market was down on technical factors": We have no idea why shares fell. "The market fell on heavy selling by mutual funds": We still have no idea why the market fell. But everybody knows small investors are stupid, right? "The trend is your friend": Stocks have been going up. "Trees don't grow to the sky": Stocks stopped going up. "The market is looking a little extended": We're dumping everything. "Don't miss this compelling opportunity": I need the commission. "The market climbs a wall of worry": Sure, it is tough to be blasé about rising oil prices, climbing interest rates and Middle East tensions. But I really, really need the commission. "It isn't a loss until you sell it": You took a bath in the stock, but let's ignore it, and maybe it will go away. "Focus on total return": Please, please, please don't notice the fund's outrageously high expenses. "It's cheap on a relative basis": It is pretty darn expensive, but other folks own stuff that is even more ridiculously priced. "It's fairly valued": If the stock climbs a few more bucks, we're unloading this puppy. "We've got some great values in our portfolio": Our stocks have been massacred. "We buy growth at a reasonable price": We're holding our noses and paying up for some pretty expensive stocks. "We're long-term investors": The stock tanked, but we are hanging on, hoping to break even. "We think the stock is a potential buyout candidate": I sure hope some corporate raider is reading this. "The stock's oversold": We never imagined the shares could fall this far. "Nobody ever went broke taking profits": We bought the stock at $16, sold it at $32, and two weeks later it hit $114. "The company's quarterly earnings beat expectations": The chief financial officer sandbagged analysts. "We've researched this company thoroughly": Here's what we heard from the company's vice president of investor relations. "We're fundamental investors": We listen to the chief executive's sales pitch. "We're technical investors": We skip the sales pitch and pull out the Ouija board. "We buy companies, not pieces of paper": I majored in philosophy. "Our strength is evaluating corporate management": We play a lot of golf. "The company has solid fundamentals": It is a shame the shares are so absurdly overvalued. "It's a New Economy stock": Don't even bother asking about earnings. "We rate the stock a strong buy": We need the company's investment-banking business. "We consider the stock attractive long-term": The next year is going to be rough. "We rate the stock a hold": For goodness sake, dump your shares. "We rate it a sell": I'm hoping to get the early-retirement package.