To: Voltaire who wrote (20908 ) 11/29/2000 10:51:29 PM From: freeus Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 65232 This is cute (I didn't write them alas) Listen, my children, don't dare ignore, > The midnight actions of Bush and Gore > In early November, the year ought-ought, > Hard to believe the mess they wrought. > Two billion bucks of campaign bounty > All came down to Palm Beach County. > What result could have been horrider > Than the situation we found in Florider? > > Edgar Allen Poe is his usual gloomy self: > Once upon a campaign dreary, one which left us weak and weary > O'er many a quaint and curious promise of political lore > While we nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a yapping > As of some votes overlapping, energy-zapping to the core > "'Tis a mess here," we all muttered, as the network anchors > stuttered, stuttered over Bush and Gore. > Could there be another election with such a case of misdirection, > One with such a weak selection, yet fraught with tension to the > core? > Quoth the ravers, "Nevermore." > > Britain's Edward Lear's limerick is lighter: > There once was a U.S. election > That called for some expert detection - > How thousands of pollers > Could become two-holers > Like outhouses of recollection > Ditto Ogden Nash: I regret to admit that all my knowledge > Is what I learned at Electoral College, > So tell me please, though I hate to troubya, > Will the winner be Al, or will it be Dubya? > > Joyce Kilmer's a media analyst: > I thought that I would never see > The networks all so up a tree. > > Walt Whitman is lyrical, as always: > O' Captain! My Captain! our > fearful trip's not done > The ship has weather'd every rack, > but nobody knows who's won. > > Alfred Noyes rhythmically rumbles: > And still of an autumn night they say, with the White House on > the line, > When the campaign's a ghostly galleon and both candidates cry, > 'Tis mine!" > When the road is a ribbon of ballots, all within easy reach, > A highwayman comes riding, > Riding, Riding, > A highwayman comes riding, and punches two holes in each. > > Dr. Seuss takes a look at election officials: > I cannot count them in a box > I cannot count them with a fox > I cannot count them by computer > I will not with a Roto-Rooter > I cannot count them card-by-card > I will not 'cause it's way too hard > I cannot count them on my fingers > I will not while suspicion lingers. > I'll leave the country in a jam - > I can't count ballots, Sam-I-Am. > > Clement Moore adopts a holiday theme: > 'Twas the month before Christmas, when all through the courts, > All the plaintiffs made stirring bad ballot reports. > Which leaves the problem: > Perhaps the best way to stop complaints that are raucous is > Start over again, with the Iowa caucuses. >> Freeus -----------------