Found this on the Bush thread and thought it would be appropriate to post it here:
Who's being snippy now?
Mark Steyn
National Post
December 7, 2000
The early hours of Wednesday November 8th:
Bush: "So you're retracting your concession?"
Gore: "You don't have to get snippy."
George Dubya Bush has now explicitly addressed the issue of his "snippiness." "We don't use that word
too often down here in Texas, so I'm not exactly sure what that means," he told CBS this week. "But, if he
meant abrupt, I was abrupt."
He meant a little more than that, Governor. You may not hear "snippy" in the high-falutin' Social
Register society whirl of Waco, but down on Al's "farm" in Tennessee they use it a lot. "Snippy" is what
snotty people say when they find someone snotty. Had it been Al who'd insulted a New York Times guy,
he'd have called him a "major-league snippy person."
Still, Governor Bush was gracious enough to concede (if you'll forgive the expression) that, in his own
words, "I wasn't warm and fuzzy on the telephone, let me put it to you that way." And right now Al could
use warm and fuzzy. Is it just him or is everyone getting snippy? Snip, snip, snip, cutting away at the
ground underneath him till he's left wobbling tippy-toe on a dimpled chad.
This week, there was the U.S. Supreme Court, mulling over the Florida court's decision to rewrite the
state election law in Al's favour: "After reviewing the opinion of the Florida Supreme Court, we find that
there is considerable uncertainty as to the precise grounds for the decision ..."
In other words: You rubes are so dumb we can't even make sense of your judgment. We'll give you
another chance to explain yourself, but be warned -- the playground is back under adult supervision.
Snippy or what?
Then there was Leon County Judge N. Sanders Sauls. "A former small-town boy who still hunts and
fishes, Judge Sauls brings a folksy manner to his work," said The New York Times. Got his degree at some
rinky-dink state college. Drinks bourbon. Doesn't sound the snippy type. Sounds the kind of guy Al
would like to shoot the breeze with over a couple of bourbons after a day's hunting back on the farm in
Tennessee -- that is, if Al got back to the farm more often, and if he went hunting, and if he drank
bourbon, and if he wasn't so painfully awkward at shooting the breeze.
Still, this judge guy is a registered Democrat, so what the hell happened? Fill his courtroom up with 800
bucks-an-hour slickers making a simple request to overturn the result of the presidential election, and
he comes over all ... snippy: "There is no credible statistical evidence and no other competent
substantial evidence to establish by a preponderance a reasonable probability that the results of the
statewide election in the State of Florida would be different from the result which has been certified by
the state Elections Canvassing Commission."
Geez, you don't have to get snippy.
"The court further finds and concludes the evidence does not establish any illegality, dishonesty, gross
negligence, improper influence, coercion or fraud in the balloting and counting process."
OK, OK, we heard you the first time, Judge Snippy.
And what about Al's most reliable pals, the boys on the Florida Supreme Court? No less than a former
Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, has pronounced the soi-disant butterfly ballot "illegal." But you
file a straightforward suit to the state court demanding a re-vote and mass snippiness breaks out among
Democratic judges.
"We conclude as a matter of law that the Palm Beach County ballot does not constitute substantial
non-compliance with the statutory requirements. Accordingly, we affirm the trial court's dismissal with
prejudice of the complaints," declared Florida Supreme Court spokesman Craig Waters. "Thank you. I
believe we are done for the night."
Snippy, snippy, snippy.
Well, there's still the wild card. Seminole and Martin Counties. Seems some computer crashed and
Republican officials had to write identification numbers on the absentee-ballot envelopes by hand. Not
on the ballots, just on the envelopes. And not on all the envelopes, just some. But Democrats think
they're in with a shot at getting all the absentee ballots thrown out, and delivering the state to Al -- at
least for a day or two until someone remembers the relevant portion of the United States Code:
"No person acting under colour of law shall ... deny the right of any individual to vote in any election
because of an error or omission on any record or paper relating to any application, registration, or other
act requisite to voting, if such error or omission is not material in determining whether such individual
is qualified under State law to vote in such election."
Leapin' lizards, since when did Federal law get so snippy?
The last thing Al Gore hears when he goes to bed at night in the Vice-Presidential residence is
demonstrators chanting "Get out of Cheney's house."
Snippy.
He wakes up in the morning to polls showing 56, 57, 60% of Americans want him to pack it in. In
October, polls said people were bored by the election. So Al made it interesting. And now people say
they're still bored.
How snippy can you get?
He goes to play touch-football so the cameramen have some nice pictures for the news, or off to
Starbuck's to buy decaf hazelnut latte for reporters, so they'll know how much the little people
appreciate the way he's fighting for them. He says, "Hi. President-elect-presumptive-designate Al Gore.
Fighting for you. Yes, you. The one trying not to catch my eye." But they back towards the door.
His aides arrange a group of supporters to wave placards at the traffic. "Honk For A Full Recount." "Honk
For The Disenfranchised." "Honk For Gore."
Silence.
Strange how snippy silence can be.
He goes back home to work on his "transition." But none of his "Cabinet Secretaries" want to quit their
day jobs on the strength of Al maybe getting an expedited appeal to a favourable circuit court in the
Everglades.
He switches on the TV. Some rerun. Snippy The Bush Kangaroo Court.
If this keeps up, don't be surprised if Al starts getting snippy.
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