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Pastimes : Things That Amuse Me -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: PMS Witch who wrote (919)	12/10/2000 4:17:13 PM
From: thecow	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 12669

PW If dogs could fly? I wonder about this. Would they fly together, since they are social animals, and tend to follow the leader, as they do on the ground? Or would they fly in what appears a random pattern as, like on the ground, they follow what their nose tells them could lead to something interesting? If this is the case, they'd become visible clues to the movement of air currents near the ground, like clouds are further up. And now, the local bowser forecast...brought to you by our local canine corp The mysteries of life...ain't they grand! tc :-)

To: PMS Witch who wrote (919)	12/11/2000 11:47:36 AM
From: PMS Witch	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 12669

Christmas shopping … I dropped by the mall this morning. The parking lot was jam packed on Saturday, so I figured the stores would be in sardine-can mode, and best avoided. I hoped a first thing Monday morning visit would be quieter: It was. Walking out with my treasure, I was mentally gift wrapping. When it comes to wrapping gifts, I’m a certified, all-thumbs, gorilla wearing boxing gloves. Images of frustratingly dealing with wrapping scraps, torn ribbons, crushed bows (I get pre-tied stick-ons, and still make a mess), and becoming tangled in sticky-tape enough to resemble the coyote in a Road Runner cartoon danced through my head. I spotted a gift wrapping station, with NO line-up. Joy to the world! Then the sign: “Husband’s gift wrapping” destroyed my bliss. Well piss on you too! A bit further, a very pleasant looking lady collecting for some cause (This time of year, who can keep track?) was giving giant candy canes with every $5 donation. She only had one left and wanted rid of it so she could go home. I thought bringing some cheer to her would also bring some to me as well, so I reached for my money. Immediately behind me, a small child, learning that I was to receive the last candy-cane began the most ear-piercing, headache inducing wail, accompanied with foot stomping and arm waving. Oh shit! The father looked on helplessly. I felt a profound nostalgia for the days a swift swat would bring silence. I don’t know what overcame me, but I turned to the man and instantly blurted out “I’ll give your kid the candy if you deposit these parcels at the husbands’ wrapping booth.” He agreed! I delivered the bribe, the kid shut up, and the gifts got wrapped. This Christmas, I won’t struggle through my clumsy wrapping attempts, only to have the most wonderfully wrapped (By someone in a store) gifts placed under the tree beside mine, making them look positively awful. Like so many areas of life, both sides’ cheating bring equal results. It felt good to beat the system. On the way home, I stopped at the cleaners and picked up a couple of shirts I had laundered: $2 for the man’s, and $4 for the woman’s. Most times, the system wins. Cheers, PW.