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Politics : PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TH who wrote (109702)	12/10/2000 4:03:46 PM
From: chalu2	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 769667

IMHO, this thread needs occasional comic relief, and many of you no doubt heard of the FAA's decision that a pig could fly first class to accompany its owner. Perhaps this was a case of government under-regulation? Here's the story: Copyright 2000 Sarasota Herald-Tribune Co. Sarasota Herald-Tribune When pigs fly, watch your step By David Grimes I think a lot of people are overreacting to Charlotte, the 300-pound pet pig that flew first-class last month from Philadelphia to Seattle. Sure, Charlotte had a bit of a panic attack when the plane came in for a landing, running up and down the aisle discharging feces as she went. Airplane travel is unpleasant enough, what with the cramped seats, screaming babies and bad food, without 300 pounds of incontinent ham stepping on toes, knocking over the beverage cart and just generally making a scene. But, given the behavior of some human passengers these days, can we really hold a pig to a higher standard of conduct than we do people? To my knowledge, Charlotte did not attack a flight attendant or act in so violent a manner that she needed to be restrained by her fellow passengers. No one slapped a pair of plastic handcuffs on Charlotte and there were no police officers waiting to arrest her when the plane landed. All Charlotte was doing was reacting as any first-time pig flier might react to the unfamiliar -- and by no means pleasant -- sensation of a plane suddenly losing altitude for no apparent reason. A pig with more flying experience might have been able to tell the difference between a simple landing approach and a flaming corkscrew into the tarmac at 500 mph. Then again, maybe not. There has been very little solid research on how many frequent flier miles a pig must accumulate before it stops losing control of its bowels every time the "fasten seat belt" sign lights up. I can identify with Charlotte (up to a point) because I, too, get nervous while flying. The slightest turbulence and I'm screaming "We're all going to die!" and burying my face in the shoulder of whatever passenger was unlucky enough to sit next to me. The whole concept of "beverage cart" was invented for people like me. I need to be tranquilized to the point that if flames start shooting out of the number-two engine, I can remain calm because I know we have three other engines as backup. I am not suggesting that it would be good airline policy to start plying 300-pound companion pigs with gin and tonics as soon as they step aboard. It may make the situation better or it may make it worse. Again, the literature is thin on this subject. It is possible that the landing did not panic Charlotte at all. She may have simply peeked through the drapes and gotten a glimpse of the squalid conditions in coach and freaked out. The sight of that much carry-on luggage alone could have sent Charlotte over the edge. I was glad to read that the FAA decided that US Airways did nothing wrong in allowing Charlotte to fly as a companion for her owner, who suffers from a heart condition. They opened the sty, so to speak, for pigs to fly in the future, in certain situations. This means that Charlotte may take to the air again. Which is all right with me, as long as next time she's wearing a diaper. David Grimes can be reached by mail at the Sarasota Herald-Tribune, P.O. Drawer 1719, Sarasota, FL 34230; by phone at (941) 957-5209; by fax at (941) 957-5276 or by e-mail at david.grimes@herald-trib.com.