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Politics : PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ish who wrote (116691)	12/15/2000 8:03:27 PM
From: ecommerceman	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 769670

> BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT > Bush to be smited later today > > In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation, under > God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule this week's Supreme Court > decision that handed the White House to George Bush. "I'm not sure where the > Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on a rare "Today" show > appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lay back and let Bush get away > with this bullshit." > > "I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in > Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly who voted > for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly 20,219 votes." > > Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict overrules > the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving > him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God's Word for > possible grounds for appeal. > > "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign strategist Jim > Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential Election is > unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of the state of > Florida." > > "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises ahead of > him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean." > > God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct, explained > that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no grounds to give the > White House to "a friggin' idiot." "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach > County voted for Buchanan. Get real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't > believe me? I'll name them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, > James; Barnhardt, Ron..." > > Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W. Bush's > prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him today. In an > act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God has taken all of > Bush's goats and livestock, stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold > his family into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard > labor in a salt mine, and afflicted him with deep boils. > > Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.