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Pastimes : G&K Investing for Curmudgeons -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mike Buckley who wrote (9705)	12/19/2000 10:22:03 AM
From: areokat	Respond to of 22706

Breaking News - Santa Claus Subpoenaed It is rumored Al Gore has subpoenaed Santa Claus over some "irregularities" found on Christmas list handling procedures. After the Florida Supreme Court ordered a third election recount, Gore allegedly said "checking a list, and checking it twice" cannot possibly discern the true wishes of the children. And the part about "who has been naughty, and who has been nice" is clearly a value judgment that does not take into account the circumstance surrounding said malfeasance. Santa's list was obtained under the "Freedom of Information Act" and immediately a DNC boiler room call center was alerted to call all children to see if items listed on Santa's list were, in fact, the true desired intent of the kids. Several indicated they had intended to ask for Sony Playstations, and instead had checked off Nintendo 64. Many of the children were emotionally distraught and felt the entire Christmas letter writing experience was outdated and "hard to understand." In reviewing the postmarks on Christmas letters, it was found by Democrat Canvassing officials that certain letters, particularly those requesting "GI Joe" dolls were not properly postmarked. Those letters (obviously from Republican children) were thrown out. Democrat officials have asked that all Palm Beach, Broward, and Dade County children be contacted in person and have their requests reviewed for accuracy. Santa Claus indicated there was not possibly enough time to get to each child by Dec. 25. The Florida Supreme court is now considering postponement of Christmas until Dec. 30 to allow for a "full and accurate" list to be compiled. cak@maybethisexplainswhathappenedtotheSantaClausrally.pov