OK thread, here's another Christmas poem. I've started it, you finish it. I've done the part in italics already -- I'll leave it to the thread to change the rest. I've changed the "Whos" to the "Longs" in the remainder for your convenience.
INTCfan
Every Long
Down in Long-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Grinch,
Who lived just North of Long-ville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The Longs' Santa run!
He hates stocks going up. He hates having fun.
It could be that he has his balls in a knot.
It could be, perhaps, that he smoked some bad pot.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been his undersized balls.
But, Whatever the reason,
His stash or his nuts,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, buying his puts,
Staring down from his condo with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Long down in Long-ville nearby,
Was busy now putting in orders to buy.
They're still buying leaps!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I'LL find a way to keep the rally from coming!"(BEGIN REVISIONS HERE)
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the Long girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Longs, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would start on Long-pudding, and rare Long-roast-beast
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Long down in Long-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Longs would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of the Long-Christmas-Sing
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this Longle thing!
"Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..."
The Grinch looked around.
But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old
Grinch...?
No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll
make one instead!"
So he called his dog Max.
Then he took some red
thread
And he tied a big horn on
top of his head.
THEN He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshakle sleigh
And he hitched up old Max.
Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Longs
Lay a-snooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Longs were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first house in the square.
"This is stop number one," The old Grinchy Claus hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Long stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the Longle room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Longs' feast!
He took the Long-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Long-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"
And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Long!
Little Cindy-Lou Long, Long was not more than two.
The Grinch had been caught by this little Long daughter
Long'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why,
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed.
And when Cindy-Lou Long went to bed with
her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the
tree up!
Then the last thing he took
Was the log for their fire.
Then he went up the chimney himself, the
old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.
And the one speck of food
The he left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then He did the same thing
To the other Longs' houses
Leaving crumbs
Much too small
For the other Longs' mouses!
It was quarter past dawn...
All the Longs, still a-bed
All the Longs, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!
"Pooh-pooh to the Longs!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the Longs down in Long-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Long-ville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Long down in Long-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then...?
Well...in Long-ville they say
That the Grinch's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he...
... HE HIMSELF ...
The Grinch carved the roast beast!!! |
