Al Gore Concession Speech, 1st Draft
Good evening, my fellow Americans:
"Tonight we come to the end of a long road and the start of a new one.
Having exhausted all avenues of appeal in the U.S. and Florida, my legal
team has filed a claim in World Court seeking to overturn the Florida elect..."
(CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE)
Al Gore Concession Speech, 2nd Draft
"Good evening, my fellow Americans. Tonight, in the spirit of national
unity and despite being the undisputed winner of the popular vote ..."
(CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE)
Al Gore Concession Speech, 3rd Draft
"Good evening, everyone. Many of you no doubt know what it feels like
to get the royal shaf..."
(CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE)
Al Gore Concession Speech, 4th Draft
"Good evening, my fellow Americans. Although it is the opinion of my
attorneys and myself that I do not fit the legal definition of "loser"...
(CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE)
Al Gore Concession Speech, 5th Draft
"Good evening, my fellow Americans. Approximately 12 million light
years ago, when I was first dispatched to your planet from Zolloid 9 ..."
(CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE)
Al Gore Concession Speech, 6th Draft
"I can't do this. I just can't do this."
(CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE)
Al Gore Concession Speech, 7th Draft
"Hello, my fellow Americans. It's been a long and difficult month for
me and, indeed, for the entire nation. But the time has come for us all to
throw our enthusiastic support behind our next president, George W. Buhh
... Bbb ... Bahoo. (laugh) Pardon me. Let me try that again: President George
W. Buh, Buh. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, PEOPLE! HOW HARD CAN IT BE
TO PUNCH OUT A FREAKIN' CARDBOARD HOLE IN A BALLOT! MORONS!"
(CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE)
Al Gore Concession Speech, 8th Draft
"My fellow Americans, in light of recent unfavorable court decisions,
it has come to my understanding that a majority of you want to turn the
country over to a recovering alcoholic and functional illiterate ..."
(CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE)
Al Gore Concession Speech, 9th Draft (folksy approach)
"Good evening, my fellow Americans. You know, when I was a young boy
frolicking on the zero-gravity ash fields of Zolloid 9, it never occurred to me
when I downloaded the human emotion coding sequence ..."
(CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE)
Al Gore Concession Speech, 10th Draft
"Good evening, my fellow Americans. Have you ever known someone who
took something from a store without paying for it? That's called "stealing,"
and in America stealing is a crime ..."
(CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE)
Al Gore Concession Speech, 11th Draft
"My fellow Americans, most of you probably know how to count. One. Two.
Three. And so on. See? It's not that difficult. (Smile). So can someone
please explain to me why the state of Florida ..."
(CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE)
Al Gore Concession Speech, 12th Draft
"Good evening, everyone. Generally speaking, civil war is never a good
thing. But there are times ..."
GZ Happy Holidays Everyone!!!!! |
