Old news, but, I may be black too and never knew it!!
REPORTS FROM THE FRONT
SUNDAY, JANUARY 7
"THE DIVA" FORMALLY SWITCHES RACE
LONG BEACH (gorewon2000.net) -- WebMistress of The BUSH
BROTHERS BANANA REPUBLIC formally switches race, based on new
information.
"The Diva," WebMistress of The BBBR (gorewon2000.net), after careful
consideration and review of new information, has decided today to renounce
her whiteness, and join the black race.
"Well, I always just assumed I was white. I never really looked into it
carefully, though," she remarked today. "I guess, since I have red hair,
green eyes, freckles, and the complexion of Elvira, I took it for granted that I
was white." She went on to say, "However, since I have investigated the
matter more fully, I realize now I cannot possibly be."
After a thorough review of media reports, The Diva came to the obvious
conclusion that she must be black. "The media has been very clear that
concern and outrage over Coup2K is a 'black thing,' so I now realize I must
be black. I mean, I'm furious, right?" When asked to elaborate, Tammy
explained, "Well, I look at it this way. The only people, according to the
media, that feel the way I clearly do -- that are certain that criminal acts
are on the verge of putting an illegitimate leader in the White House -- are
black Americans. You don't find evidence much less ambiguous than that, do
you?"
The WebMistress, until today's stunning announcement, had always
personally identified as 'white'. "You know, you get asked that a lot, on all
kinds of forms you have to fill out, and I have always checked 'white' or
'Caucasian' when asked. I have to admit, I was basing my answer on the
way I look -- nothing more," she said. "I realize now how faulty my
reasoning has been." She continued, "I was always vaguely aware that race
statutes have traditionally defined any person with any black ancestry as
'black' under the law, and I also know that all humans share a common
ancestry." She went on to say, "I'm convinced now, after careful review of
the facts, that I must have many black ancestors in my lineage that I am
simply unaware of. How else can I possibly explain my visceral and powerful
reaction to Coup2K?"
To further document her sudden change in racial identification, The Diva
discussed her response to yesterday's certification of the presidential
election. "I was watching it, and it just became so clear to me. One by
one, members of the Congressional Black Caucus stood to challenge the
electors," she explained, "and I felt a kinship with them that I can only
describe as absolute." Continuing, she asked, "Why didn't I feel that same
sense of community and affection when I looked out over the sea of white
faces looking on? The fighting spirit that lives in me more clearly mirrors that
of an Alcee Hastings or a Maxine Waters, than almost any of those people."
She also discussed her pride in, and fondness for, Vice President Gore's
handling of the event, and the white members who followed the
Congressional Black Caucus out of the chamber in protest. "I have a feeling
they might just be black like me," she mused.
When asked if she had any concerns that black Americans might not accept
her into their ranks, The Diva paused a moment in reflection, and shook her
head. "No, I don't think so. I think they will see this in substantially the
same way that I do, and be glad to have another fighter in their corner."
She also noted that, "Black Americans, when presented with the evidence
that I have discussed, will likely welcome me into their community. I feel
that they are unlikely to reject me, although they might think of me as a
'light-skinned' black."
"But, what if they don't?" this reporter asked. "That changes nothing," The
Diva quickly responded. "That wouldn't make me any more white. I am who
I am, and I am proud of who I am." She also went on to say, "If other
people -- who have always, as I did, identified themselves as 'white' --
would consider the same evidence I have, I think we would be likely to have
a black majority in America."
"Regardless," she concluded, "I think the national popular vote for President,
and the recent polls on the election aftermath both indicate that, regardless
of personal racial identification, we already do."
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