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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Constant Reader who wrote (2964)	1/25/2001 1:49:53 AM
From: Bald Eagle	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 82486

Nice farewell gesture from the Clintonistas: WHITE HOUSE OFFICES LEFT 'TRASHED': PORN BOMBS, LEWD MESSAGES; LEGAL PROBE CONSIDERED The Bush Administration has quietly launched an investigation into apparent acts of vandalism and destruction of federal property -- after incoming Bush staffers discover widespread sabotage of White House office equipment and lewd messages left behind by previous tenants! Harriet Miers, 55, Assistant to President Bush and staff secretary will be investigating possible legal ramifications of the White House trashing and possible theft, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned. "Miers is just beginning her investigation," a well-place source said late Wednesday from Washington. "The level of the trashing is very troubling, this is not just 'W' keys missing from keyboards." The damage left by departing Clintonites goes "way beyond pranks, to vandalism", said a close Bush adviser. White House employees aren't waiting to be interviewed by Miers. They are providing names of the worst malefactors, previous occupants of specific offices. Photographic and audio evidence is being collected -- as the full scope of the damage becomes clear. Bush's staff has been cautioned not to go public with the extent of the damage and the worst is being closely held among very top staffers for fear of leaks. But, according to sources, so far Bush officials have found: Phone lines were cut, rendering them inoperable. Voice mail messages were changed to obscene, scatological greetings. One Bush staffer had his grandmother call from the Midwest. She was horrified by what she heard on the other end of the line. Many phone lines misdirected to other government offices. Desks found turned completely upside down and trash deliberately left everywhere. Computer printers that were filled with blank paper but interspersed with pornographic pictures and obscene slogans that would be revealed only as items were run off the computer. 'W' keys weren't just pried off more than 40 keyboards, some were glued on with Superglue; some were turned upside down and glued on. Filing cabinets glued shut. VP Office space in the Old Executive Office Building found in complete shambles. Mrs. Gore had to phone Mrs. Cheney to apologize, first reported by Rich Galen's Mullings. *Lewd MagicMarker graffiti found on one office hallway.

To: Constant Reader who wrote (2964)	1/25/2001 1:51:30 AM
From: Mac Con Ulaidh	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 82486

from. I'm working on it! I have almost gotten to the point where I don't have to threaten to shoot anyone more than once every few months. That is great progress. Seriously, that is all some people understand. When in Rome, speak Italian. Or they won't understand you. Yo, SI Bob, if you're reading this... hehe. That's a point for you on speaking different languages. I'm either backpedaling here or doing that Michael Jackson back-step-dance thing. Take your pick. And g'night, Reader. Gotta go, too. And, uhm, hope the next four years plays out in a way that will be cool with both of us. Congratulations.