If you don't laugh at some of these, you have NO sense of humor, IMHO.
>The long awaited Latest edition of the Darwin "Natural Selection"
> Awards-Criminal Category have been released!
>
> RUNNER-UP # 9
> Yankton, South Dakota: A woman was arrested at her
> step son's Boy Scout meeting. While watching a
> policeman demonstrate his drug dog's ability, the dog
> found a bag of grass in her purse.
>
> RUNNER-UP # 8
> Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner
> store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from
> the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
> bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted
> behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier
> to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said
> "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The
> robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
> give it to him because he didn't believe him. At
> this point the robber took his drivers license out of
> his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
> looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact
> over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber
> then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier
> promptly called the police and gave the name and
> address of the robber that he got off the license.
> They arrested the robber two hours later.
>
> RUNNER-UP # 7
> A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and
> mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman
> taking the report called the phone and told the guy
> that answered that he had read the ad in the
> newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged
> to meet, and the thief was arrested.
>
> RUNNER-UP # 6
> San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank
> of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this
> iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
> While standing in line, waiting to give his note
> to the teller, he began to worry that someone had
> seen him write the note and might call the police
> before he reached the teller window.
> So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
> to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line,
> he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
> read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
> that he was not the brightest light in the harbor,
> told him that she could not accept his stickup note
> because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
> slip and that he would either have to fill out a
> Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of
> America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said
> "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called
> the police who arrested the man a few minutes later,
> as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
>
> RUNNER-UP # 5
> From England: A motorist was unknowingly caught in
> an automated speed trap that measured his speed
> using radar and photographed his car. He later
> received in the mail a ticket for 40 Pounds and a
> photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the
> police department a photograph of 40 Pounds. Several
> days later, he received a letter from the police
> that contained another picture...of handcuffs.
> The motorist promptly sent the money for the
> fine.
>
> RUNNER-UP # 4
> Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on
> trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had
> been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said
> the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge"
> in Christopher's jacket could have been a
> gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to
> be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He
> handed it over so the judge could see it. The
> judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket
> and laughed so hard he required a five minute
> recess to compose himself.
>
>
> RUNNER-UP # 3
> Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial for the
> armed robbery of a convenience store in district
>
> court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district
> attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a
> fair job of defending himself until the store manager
> testified that Newton was the robber. Newton
> jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then
> said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off."
> The defendant paused, then quickly added, "If I'd
> been the one that was there." The jury took 20
> minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year
> sentence.
>
> RUNNER-UP # 2
> Detroit: R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol
> officers who were showing their squad car computer
> felon-location equipment to children in a Detroit
> neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked,
> the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan
> gave them his drivers license, they entered it into
> the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan
> because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was
> wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis,
> Missouri.
>
> RUNNER-UP # 1
> Another from Detroit: A pair of Michigan robbers
> entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
> The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his
> partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
>
> THE WINNER
> A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very
> rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against
> fire among other things. Within a month, having
> smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without
> having made even his first premium payment on the
> policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance
> company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars
> were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance
> company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason
> that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal
> fashion. The man sued.... and won. In delivering the
> ruling the judge agreeing that the claim was
> frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a
> policy from the company in which it had warranted
> that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed
> that it would insure against fire, without defining
> what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was
> obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a
> lengthy and costly appeal process the insurance
> company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000
> for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires."
> After the man cashed the check, however, the company
> had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own
> insurance claim and testimony from the previous case
> being used against him, the man was convicted of
> intentionally burning his insured property and
> sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
>
>
> And ya'll thought you knew some ignorant people
> |
