On the lighter side: Off Topic:
Women's most embarrassing moments
Curl Up and Die
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked
loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
Melinda Lowe,
39, Seguin, TX
Pad, please!
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance.
He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as
best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came
back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.
Kathy Newman,
46,Winston-Salem, NC
Ho, Ho, Ho
I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and
wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked
adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so
well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas
cards.
Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and
suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was
shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my
reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera!
Name Withheld
Lady Golfer
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at
the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him
and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
Colleen Collins,
31, Ferndale, MI
Nuts about You
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety
of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter
asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
Faye Emerick,
34, Ellerslie, MD
Na-na na-na na-nah!
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some
pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after
receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her
that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my
horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing
Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this
enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I
mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were
screams of laughter.
Amy Richardson;
Stafford, Virginia
Surprise!
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a
romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the
telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a
nude piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we
didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs,
the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!"
My entire family: aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my friends
were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock
and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one
in my family has planned a surprise party again.
Name Withheld
Priceless
One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a
long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount
store.
When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items
had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the
intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE
THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the
rear of the store apparently misunderstood he word "Tampax" for
"THUMBTACKS."
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT
THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH
HAMMER?"
Mom's Advice
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming
around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to
find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he
had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told
him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and
ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to
investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging
out.
"I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed. "I did," he said,
"And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and
pick me up from school." |
