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To: diana g who wrote (86022)	2/2/2001 11:03:22 AM
From: kodiak_bull	Respond to of 95453

"Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, to few to mention . . ." (So, why did he mention them?) Yes, it was Frank Sinatra's signature song, but written by Paul Anka. Actually, your restatement kind of undercuts the standard bromide you quoted which implies that looking backward we regret errors of omission much more than errors of commission. We can see that at work in the stock market, where, looking backward we regret not mortgaging the house and going max margin to buy PTEN at 2 7/8 in 1999, or shares of MSFT right after its IPO. The error in this logic is we could have just as easily mortgaged the house and gone max margin to buy FGH and HMAR. And when you start the bromide off with the preamble "it's very often true," then the corollary also holds: "it's very often not the case," since "very often" means 30-50% of the time. It certainly doesn't mean a majority of the time. So, if I understand you correctly, it's very often true we regret things we omitted, but it's very often true we regret things we committed. Finally, although using the dysfunctional engine of memory to look backwards (yes, it's the only engine we have), we might THINK that we really regret more things we failed to do than things we actually did, in fact, the opposite is the case. All of life is teaching us to avoid problems, situations and people which will lower our quality of life. It's why SI, in its infinite wisdom, gave us the IGNORE button. We, wisely, do not do countless things more than we do things because we are trained to avoid bad decisions. Once burned, twice shy. Once you've been bitten by a snake, you're even cautious when you see a piece of rope. A wise single person learns to say no to hundreds or even thousands of prospective companions during the courtship era, and to say yes to only a few. In conclusion, your bromide is perceptually correct but substantively incorrect. We value, at the end, all the minor omissions we have made (held our tongue, didn't indulge, didn't have that last drink, did not attempt that last double black diamond ski run of the day, didn't open that 3rd bottle of wine at the party, made camp before sundown without pushing on to the lake in the dark, gave the benefit of the doubt rather than jumping in with the curt and cutting and oh-so-witty remark) much more than all the commissions we make. By a significant factor. The problem is, we use imperfect human data storage and retrieval methods to come up with our adages and homespun philosophy. <G>