To: ecommerceman who wrote (1719 ) 2/8/2001 7:04:16 PM From: Mephisto Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 93284 Think Bill & Hil Got a Lot? Hey, Look at What W Took Oh, if only the Clintons had been bar mitzvahed! Then they'd know: Real friends don't give gifts. They give cash. How the über-WASP George W. Bush managed to learn this is a mystery murkier than the Dade County vote count. But even as the public was having fits about the Clintons' U-Haul full of flatware, Bush was quietly pocketing $100,000 checks from his buddies, and no one raised so much as a fish fork. The occasion for this generosity was the Bush-Cheney inauguration, and the total collected was more than $40 million. In knickknack terms, that's enough for about 786,000 place settings, 32,000 love seats and a solid-gold doggie dish. It's also $10 million more than Bill Clinton raised for his second inauguration in '97. Whence came such philanthropy? Let's see. Philip Morris, Chevron and General Motors each gave $100,000 . So did Exxon, Enron and good ol' Dow Chemical . Money poured in from energy companies, oil refineries, telecommunications moguls, drug corporations — even uniform manufacturers. Because this money was paying for the inaugural, donors could argue that their motives were purely patriotic. Believe that, and I've got a pair of coffee tables I'd like to resell you. "There is virtually no regulation on contributions to inaugurals," explains Steve Weiss, communications director at The Center for Responsive Politics. This creates a White House-size loophole at the very dawn of a new administration. It also creates at least the appearance of soft-money shenanigans. Consider that of the 474 individuals Bush appointed to his transition teams, more than half made contributions to the Republicans. Thus, Dick Farmer, whose outfit produces uniforms, gave $100,000 to the inaugural and — hey! — just happened to be appointed to the Veterans Advisory Team. Richard Egan of the computer company EMC gave $100,000 and found himself appointed to Bush's Commerce Advisory Team. Kenneth Lay, head of energy giant Enron , gave $100,000 and — surprise! — got appointed to the Energy Advisory Team. What a coinky-dink! And yet, despite these enormous donations and seemingly instant White House access, America remains obsessed with the $190,000 worth of soup tureens and tchotchkes that the Clintons walked off with. Tell me: Who is going to have a greater impact on this country, an ex-President and a junior senator or the new leader of the free world at the start of his four-year term? Sure it's cheesy to collect china from your friends. But it's cheesier still to collect IOUs. E-mail: lskenazy@edit.nydailynews.comnydailynews.com