DAYTRADING: The Highs and the Woes 2/10/01
As I drove to see my shrink, the Freudian Mel Brooks look-alike and former Aerosmith roadie, Doc Kronkite, I was verily distressed; thinking about last night.
Got into a helluva fight with Suzy last night. She insisted that my trading would improve if my work space was neat.
"Neat, schmeet" I hollered. "What I need is for my Qcharts to work is all."
"And some gentle background music, Mahler would be nice" she continued, ignoring me. "And vanilla-scented candles, chintz curtains and some ginseng-laced tea," she added.
"No candles, no tea and no Mahler" I snapped. "Santana for traders. And I'm a trader if you haven't noticed."
"And Dortmunder and Delbert the parrot must go. Peace and quiet is what you need" she continued, ignoring me still.
"Dortmunder just happens to be my trading partner" I reminded Suzy. "You want me to get rid of Dortmunder?" I aske incredulously. "You must be jesting."
"I never jest when it comes to your trading, especially after the terrible week you just had. Did you really cover your JNPR short for only a three point profit?"
Ok, she had me there.
"Mmm. Perhaps I shall discuss it with doc Kronkite. He's a specialist you know."
"Specialist, schmecialist. A fruitcake is what he is. And what's with this perhaps? You are falling further under Dortmunder's spell. I simply shant have it."
"Shant? You really said shant? You've never used that word. Seems like you're the one who's slipped under Dortmunders linguistic influence."
I knew there'd be no nick-nick that night. But as I drove to my appointment with doc Kronkite I gave Suzy's comments some thought. 'Cause it had been a tough trading week for me.
Sure, it started out fine. I'd shorted ALXN the week before when Jenna called it; Dortmunder nodded his concurrence, and I locked in a quick 10 points. Grabbed another 4 in ALXN last Monday, reversed and went long for another 3. Tuesday I picked up some DIGL in-the- money call options. They moved up pretty good. I pulled up the chart. Dortmunder saw the blank, puzzled look on my face. "Sell them" he said in his clipped British accent. "You've got a double in less than a day."
I sold them. And a fine sell it was too. And now Suzy wanted me to get rid of Dortmunder? I'd slice off my right ear and send it to Maria before showing Dortmunder the door.
But then my week went downhill. I tried to get cute with Jenna's AETH short call on Tuesday; I tried to grab the short a bit higher and I missed a nice move. Did it again with AETH on Wednesday and missed another large gain. And on Friday I shorted JNPR at Jenna's 91 trigger, covered at 89 and it closed at 85.
Dortmunder accompanied me of course, with Delbert the Parrot on his right shoulder. We'd not been in the reception room thirty seconds before Dortmunder began pitching woo at the leggy, gorgeous and curvacious receptioninst, Thelma Tushbumper. I was mortified. Thelma didn't mind. She liked the little guy with his bumbershoot and three piece Savile-Row suit.
We entered the doc's office. Kronkite was ready. Smiling, he walked over and offered Dortmunder a coconut and a bunch of over-ripe bananas. Dortmunder sneered, said "I take nought from a Freudian."
"Oh, do you find something wrong with Freud and his brilliant insights?" he asked the little guy with the 187 IQ.
"Indeed. Sometimes a banana is just a banana."
I tried to clear the air. After all, doc Kronkite was a specialist. He treated traders beset with problems. I was a trader. There had to be a middle ground, a way for these two geniuses to help me.
"See doc, as we were driving over to see you we were discussing the differences between traders and investors. What do you think?"
"A good investment is worth a lifetime of toil" he intoned, stroking his Freudian beard.
"Sod you" snapped Dortmunder. "Kramer here, the poor chap you claim to be treating is a trader, not an investor."
"Trader, schmader" said Kronkite.
"You denigrate traders?" asked Dortmunder.
"Of course" snapped the doc.
Delbert the Parrot, perched as ever on Dortmunder's shoulder, said "You denigrate? You denigrate?" in a perfect Dortmunder impersonation.
The doc looked at Delbert. "A nice dinner you'd make. Baked parrot with asparagus spears. And a '57 Bordeaux would be excellent to wash you down."
This was not going well. "Doc" I pleaded, "Can we calmly discuss the merits of trading versus investing?"
"Yes, yes. Traders are slobs, they revel in sloth. They are disorganized, the product of disorganized minds. They dress abysmally; Wayne Newton is their sartorial model. Unable to choose clothes they take their mothers with them to shop. Left alone they dress like Norman Bates, who by the way was a patient of mine."
"That's it doc?" I asked.
"No" he said, "Traders have great difficulty choosing which stock to buy. When they finally decide they can't wait to sell; always too soon. Then they want another stock to buy. Buy, sell, buy, sell. They insist on making their own decisions. Investors, on the other hand, always take advice from their betters. Investors make all the money. Do you see any investors on my patient list? No, I'm loaded with traders who've cornered the market on emotional problems. A fortune I make from these goobers."
"And," he continued, "Investors make considered judgements. Then they buy and hold. They listen carefully to the analysts, especially the analyst's targets. They listen carefully to Maria, and Tom over at the NASDAQ board; can't wait for the golden words that pour from Joe Battipaglia; buy when the brokerage houses recommend a buy."
"But doc," I cried, "Trading fits my personality."
"That's the problem, your personality. Remember those tests I gave you? Terrible you did, ended up in the bottom of the barrel."
"Gee doc," I replied, "Do you think I should become an investor?"
"Of course" Kronkite bellowed. "And get rid of Dortmunder and Delbert the Parrot at the earliest possible moment. They encourage you to trade. They must go."
Kronkite glanced at his watch. "Time's up" he said.
"Thanks doc, thanks a lot." I said gratefully, wondering if IBM, LUCENT and TELEPHONE would make fine investments.
Lee Kramer |
